How Fear Killed Chivalry Pt 1

I went on a date this past Saturday and had an absolutely amazing time. I already figured that I would though because prior to it, the conversation had been flowing like bub and he and I had many common interests.

The day of the date, there were a number of things that I noted needed more reflection. First, I had informed my cousin (male) and neighbor (male) that I was going on a date. They're my protectors and I wanted them to know that I was going to be out. In any case, the gentleman and I had decided to meet at the date location. This took both men by surprise, with my neighbor exclaiming "see, he done fucked up already!". I was a bit surprised. "Why?" I inquired. See, in my mind, in this day and age  living life as a single black female fending, essentially, for herself until my cousins moved to MD, I would never think to even tell a man where I lived prior to meeting him and building a sense of trust.

"A man is supposed to pick you up on a date" my cousin stated. "They should be picking you up, maybe bringing flowers, paying for the date." "A real man would have at least offered to pick you up from home." I know for a fact that my ignorance of these policies in Guy Code was probably due to spending a vast amount of my time around other women. I didn't grow up with my father to see what male dating behavior was supposed to look like, so for the most part I've gone along with my program of Safety First.

It really made me sad hearing them. Not because I think they're naïve or anything like that, but I wished I lived in a world where that would be standard practice. Guy picks up girl, they have a great evening, guy returns girl to her home. But with my steady intake of CSI and Law and Order, and the news in general, I don't trust my ability to return home safely in the hands of anyone but myself. I think to myself, what if he makes a deliberate left turn instead of a right? What if I am meeting him in a part of town I am completely unfamiliar with and I have no clue how to return home? What if he managed to fool me into thinking he is a good guy? What if? What if?...What if?.

Fear killed Chivalry. I find it very uncomfortable having a man know where I live prior to me gauging whether or not he is trustworthy. Even then, I might be wrong but I rather say I was duped than I was a straight fool. I think in the back of my mind that someone will think "Well she asked for it" "Why would you give a man you don't know your address" etc. etc. Voices chiming in to condemn me to whatever fate I suffer based on the simple fact that I didn't take my own transportation and I allowed a man to know where I live prior to determining if his character was worthy of having such information.

As all anachronisms, picking up a girl on the first date at her home is dying.