The Burn Out Phone

So am guilty as shit for giving my digits out in the club. I do it because im bored, single, and i love not paying for meals. I have no shame in that. BUTTTTTTT that means that there are a lot of undesirables that have access long after their 15 minutes is up. These include the ones that turn out to be stalkers, pressed, thirsty, unkempt when outside the club, etc. Especially the ones that wanna make out in the theatre on the FIRST DATE.

Lesson 1: Keep hoes at an arms distance.

Welcome, the Burn Out Phone.

Am I wrong for dusting off my old prepaid Nokia phone? Digging up that old spare sim card? Activating the phone? and giving the "new" number out? Would I be wrong for having some hood ass song (insert Wacka Flocka title here) as the ring tone?

No its not wrong. Cause at the end of the day, the guy that makes it out the burn out phone and is blessed with the real digits will never have to here "There's some hoes in this house" radiating frommy purse. The burn out phone will be safely tucked back in its dusty corner right next to my pepper spray.

Habitual Crotch Watcher

Today...was a sad day.  I was watching Maury and thought to myself, "I wonder how big Maury's penis is?"

This past week I have been staring at guys' crotches and I CAN'T STOP!!!  Conversations start off normal and then my mind starts to wonder and then goes my eyes...from his eyes...to his chest...to...his...penis...imprint.  I'm a creeper.  I accept this.  I can't help that when my monthly is approaching I become in heat.  I blame ovulation and my natural instinct to procreate.  So when my eyes lock in to where the zipper meets the tiny steel button I can't help but wonder and imagine...

I mean if a man can oogle cleavage I can superman stare through your jeans and question your manhood. I mean it only lasts for a week and then I'm back to daydreaming about shoes and not the imprint of the cute direct care staff that just asked where to put the poland spring water jug. Ohhhh behave.

A convo I found in my saved messages from 6/9/2010

April: I don't want an assembly required type dude
I wanna man already made
With a warranty

Katrina: Ready made.....shit is real
Lmaoooooooooooooooo But u know what that's what u wanted....no more outreach ctr relationships.

April: U get what u ask for huh?

Katrina: Yesssss man.....tooooo grown for that shit

April : I guess I am an adult huh

Katrina: Yessssss as shit

April : This is crazy my nig
I am a grown ass woman
Wow
Shit is deep

Katrina: Yessssss....that's why u suppose date grown ups
Katrina: Equally yoked

April: Lol
True my nig
Like what hood niggas say
I never thought I would see the age of 23

Katrina: Yessssssssssssssssss

April: Let alone talk to a grown ass man
Thank you God

Katrina: Therefore don't date down ever again that's the rule for 2010
Yessss that's God*
If u just wanna bustitbaby on the side

April : Lmaooooooooo

Katrina: Then nigggas serve a purpose.....but not serious dating perspective

April: Speak truth my nig
Testify

Katrina: Lmaooooooooooooo

April: Life!

Katrina: Yes indeed I hope everything works out sounds like a good catch

April: Everything will work out.

Katrina: However.....I am doing a new study "niggas: ya'll got jobs?"

April: I'm claiming it. Lmao
Stop

Katrina: :)
Happy for u....

April: Thanks chica
Nigga jobs: DTLR, footlocker, Popeyes, Sprint
Kicks, food, and phones

Katrina: Yessssss nigggga jobs

April: Nigga necessities

Katrina: Lmaooooooooooooo
Right right

April: Here is a correlation I discovered

Katrina: Speak my nig

April : If 1 nigga in the hood work at sprint then everybody in the WHOLE hood got a sprint phone

Katrina: Lmaoooooo u right

April: IE. The hook up

Katrina: Yes yes correct
That applies to all aspects
Food
Cable

April: Yes ma'am

Katrina: Jordans

April : Hahahaha

Katrina: Rims

April : I actually have a BRILLIANT business plan

Katrina: Yes lol

April : A lica store that delivers

Katrina: Whattttt?????? That would be very profitable in the hood
For the sick and the shut ins

April: Slogan: when ur too drunk to get more lica, don't worry nigga. We deliva!!!

Katrina: Lmaooooooooooooo
We can get ur jawn to market/pr
Its perfect

April: Riiiiiiiiiiiight!!!!

Katrina: Lmaooooooooooo

April: We gonna pop that off in the next 5 years.

Katrina: Lmaoooooooo omgeeeeee we will be millionaires

April: Billionaires my nig
We have revolutionized the game

Katrina: iCant

April: LMAOOOO

Katrina: Revolutionized though
Shut up

April: Hahahaha
I'm just sayin my nig
The lica game won't be the same

Katrina: It won't it wont
We like meals on wheels
Except we have 40s and goose

April: LmFaoooo
: AA tell u quit. We say nah that's not it
Don't have a car. We'll bring you the bar
No more DUIs. We got the supply
My nig. We'll lower drunk driving by 15% globally
They'll have no choice but to give us the nobel peace prize

Katrina: Lmaooooooooo yes my nig.....we gonna make history

April : I'm thinkin the delivery trucks can be big ass trucks on 40inch rims
So we can call it 40s on 40s

Katrina: And a system

April: Yes

Katrina: Lmaoooooo I like the way u think

April: Hahahaha

Katrina: All black errrythang.....cause nigggas like that shit

April: Lmfaooo
Riiight riiight

Katrina: Lol

Voted Off

My friend told me yesterday that she can't just cut friends out of her life like I can.  At first I was offended, because when I count the people that I legit cared for whom I cut all ties I could only count 3.  But I guess the number appeared to be bigger than it was because the relationship I had with those 3 equaled out to be near 300.  Everyone was and still is shocked that those friendships ended.  I am asked from time to time do I ever miss them.  I answered and still answer no.  If being able to cut off best friends you knew for decades and not look back makes me cold then hey I am an eskimo.  If I felt I was the reason that the friendship went sour then I would feel remorse and regret but when I replay how things came to an end and I know I fought to the end and overlooked shady events then I can wholeheartedly sever ties without shedding a single tear of what once was.  Sometimes peoples' purpose in your life expire but you still hold on even when your bond has become rotten and detrimental to your sanity.  Yet we still try to salvage and still try to make excuses for behavior that would get an ordinary person benched with the upmost quickness.  We are all creatures of habit. No one wants to be the one to end a long relationship but self preservation is key.  If you have nothing positive to add to my life and most of our interactions are strained and bitter why force a cube into a circular hole?  No matter how you twist and push the result will consistently be the same...it's not going to work homie.  You have to cut that player because not everybody can be on your team.  Not everyone has your best interest at heart and wants to see you succeed. Unfortunately those that are most close to us are the first to feel twinges of jealousy when a loved one starts to do better than them.  It is how the person reacts to that twinge that determines how much of a friend they are to you.  Never underestimate someone's underlying intentions, because it can be your right hand man wishing you harm...Caesar and Brutus style. 

Tales of Zeta spokespersons to Winnie the Pooh/Sex Offender

You'reSUCHaNerd   In a recent convo with Kevin

  You'reSUCHaNerd   I said "Esther Rolle is the face of Zeta........and she represents everything they stand for...........a whole bunch of Mammies"

 GoalDigger Mhmm

  You'reSUCHaNerd   I cracked myself up

 GoalDigger LMFAOOOO ur a straight foooooool

 Beyond Belief Blessed Lmao

  You'reSUCHaNerd   *drops mic*

 Beyond Belief Blessed April I had to reup for 30 mins

Been up since 5

 Getting gas on my way

 GoalDigger Huh

 What do u mean

 Ur not almost here?

Liz...

 Beyond Belief Blessed No I needed a nap

 I'm like 40mins out

 GoalDigger O slept in your car?

 Beyond Belief Blessed Yes

 GoalDigger Ok. Be safe.

THE NEXT MORNING...

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Liz......

 With one step closer to your goals..........Fortitude my dude

 GoalDigger She sleep nigga

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Lol......

  That's all I had to say.........good day niggas

 GoalDigger Lmao foolery

 Go be constructive with ur day nigga

  You'reSUCHaNerd   What???

 That was inspirational message

 Like Rev Run in the tub

 Nigga I am about to go study for my LG

 GoalDigger Lmaaooo

 O ok

 May the force be with you

 That's all I got to say

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Shut the f up!!!!!!

 GoalDigger The force being God

  You'reSUCHaNerd   You seem angry today

 GoalDigger And not Yoda

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Lmaooooooo

Oh niggga

 Beyond Belief Blessed Lol I'm up now with all the damn beeps and shit

 GoalDigger See what u did Katrina

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Oh my bad

 GoalDigger She was quite peaceful

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Well time to get up.......time to get going

 GoalDigger Uggghhh

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Ps: winnie the pooh was one homosexual character

  Anyways I will talk to you guys later.........

 GoalDigger Fuck that yellow nigga

His whole gang was questionable

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Naw eore

 Was a nigga

That's why he was like.......hey pooh

 GoalDigger Eore smoked weed

  You'reSUCHaNerd   That nigga wasn't sad

 GoalDigger And needed xanax

  You'reSUCHaNerd   He just was mad........that them niggas was there

 GoalDigger I think he also had a learning disability

 He look like he read slow

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Lmaoooooooo

 GoalDigger U know u hated that nigga in class

  You'reSUCHaNerd   I did

 GoalDigger Took him 10 minutes to read a paragraph

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Like why the teacher calling this nigga

  Everybody be like ugggggggh

 GoalDigger Lolol exxaaccctttlly

  Riiight everybody was like damn not this non-phonics nigga

Eore knew he was that nigga

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Lmaooooooooooo

Whateva.......

 GoalDigger Gave him a complex, he got sad, started to smoke weed, now he even slower.

  You'reSUCHaNerd   That's you assessment

 GoalDigger I'm just stating facts

 Well I am a social worker

I get paid to do this shit

  You'reSUCHaNerd   That nigga still aint fuck with pooh

 GoalDigger Now Imma give u another break down

 Regarding pooh and eore's relationship

  You'reSUCHaNerd   ???

 GoalDigger In the early years of their friendship pooh and eore used to kick it more.

Eore was having some hard times with his girl.

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Right

 GoalDigger Pooh told him to come over. Have a couple beers&watch the game

  You'reSUCHaNerd   When pooh ever watch the game

 GoalDigger Little did Eore know that pooh was plottin on that ass

  Exxaactttly

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Smdh

 GoalDigger So Eore came over and Pooh brought out his best honey. Enticed that nigga

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Right

  Since then Eore don't really fuck with him tooo much

 GoalDigger While Eore was eating the honey Pooh laced a blunt with some angel dust. Knew Eore was a weed head and let him smoke that sticky icky

Now Eore high as a kite.

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Sooo Eore is the real victim

 GoalDigger Pooh commences to taking off that nigga tail...cuz it was held on by tack and u know that shit aint too comfortable

Eore wanna fight but he soo high and it feel kinda good. I don't need to say what else happened but the next day Eore is like wtf have I done and don't bang with pooh like that

Now everywhere he go he bump into pooh

  You'reSUCHaNerd   And pooh raped Eore

  Eore need counseling

 GoalDigger When he say "hey pooh" he really mean "damn not this nigga again"

  You'reSUCHaNerd   That nigga is depressed and suicidal

 GoalDigger That's my story and I'm sticking to it

  You'reSUCHaNerd   Lmaooooooooo

 And pooh want a thug nigga

That's why he keep popping up

  Eore is a victim

 GoalDigger Lol

 Yes Eore was taken advantage of

 And pooh is a DAN

Don't Hate Me cuz You have Shoes Older than Me

It has become an ongoing trend in my life.  Really don't know why I even become surprised anymore. Despite this damn blog I really am a nice non-confrontational considerate young lady.  I help out anyone that needs it at work. I take the initiative and am driven, as well as a go-getter.  I dress well and the shoe game is on lock.  Most of my coworkers/supervisors adore me and I truly enjoy my job. Which I am starting to think is the problem.

Unbeknownst to me there is always a bitter old black woman lurking in between the filing cabinets...watching...studying...hating...FOR NO REASON!!!  She has been working her job for too long and takes it too seriously.  She's a crab in a polyester suit that hates to see any young black woman  surpass her.  O she'll befriend you and even give you advice.  But let your eager motivated ass get some type of recognition or advancement then she wants no parts of you.  It never fails that I always get caught up. But what gets me is that every time Moses' sister wants to start trouble with me its for THEE dumbest reasons in the world.  It legit boggles my brain that me using 3 pumps of soap to wash my hands instead of 2 warrants the world ending. Why are you clocking my soap usage anyway? Is there a soap tax that comes out of your check? Do I tell you your bengay is stinkin up the office? Or that your Depends is clearly full? Or to re-up on your fixident because your dentures make a rattling sound when you talk? No, I don't. I let you live. So let me be great.

Excuse me sir...Here's a tampon for your vagina.

When I was just a mere innocent pup at the age of 5 in this thing called life, my Uncle dropped a major jewel on me.  I was too young to understand what he said then but that wisdom  rings loud and true now.

"Bitches are bitches, but niggas are bitches too"

So simple yet so powerful. 19 years later, the world has resonated to call this bitchassness. 

Did I know in the beginning I was getting involved with a bitch ass dude...of course not.  No one willingly agrees to enter into a relationship with a dude that has ovaries.  I was hoodwinked...bamboozled...I didn't land on bitchassness, bitchassness landed on me...if you will.  The friendship matured normally at first. We dated, got to know each other, and feelings started to develop.  It was wonderful...until ol boy started getting caught up all in his emotions.  I couldn't even joke with him without his chest getting tight and him getting vex over a joke.  A joke that I made a week before that he laughed at but I guess wasn't funny then.  What happened?! Well let me tell you...

He started liking me and got nervous about how "open" he was feeling.  He went in to protection mode at the possibilty of being hurt or rejected. It was "I like you so much" one minute, then "I can't stand you" the next. Ummmm, are you having mood swing sir? Confusion can't even explain what I was feeling.  I was getting to the point where I was hypothesizing that the dude has to be skeetin estrogen.

Every single conversation ended in a knock down drag out argument; starting with innocent conversation, then a harmless comment is made by moi which he takes, twists, hammers, braids, and molds the comment into something it wasn't even intended to mean (sounds like a bitch right?).  Son admits to me one day that the reason he is so mean to me is because he likes me (so you're a five year old?). I'm fed up at this point and am completely over him.  When we argue I don't even get upset due to me being emotionally detached from him & the bullshit.  I find myself hitting him up when I'm bored just to start an argument so that I can laugh when he transforms into the decepticon, "Megapussy."  Each time I text him "do you shave your vagina" or "wipe between your legs homie, you're bleeding" I am convinced more and more that what he's really upset about is that I know his secret.  His manhood has come into question because he allowed himself to be reduced down to the one thing a man's man never wants to be seen as.  Yet I had no sympathy. I had reach my limit and a man acting like his balls stored eggs was very unbecoming.  Cool it homie. It's never that serious. I get cramps too.

Dating...

is bullshit repetitive what is your favorite color why did he stop calling me why does he call me so much what am I going to wear why is he snoring during this movie is there something in my teeth omg I have a wedgie ugggh he's 15 minutes late why did I call him 5 times in a row did he really pick this wack restaurant is he going to pay  for this date I wonder how big his penis is why does he keep checkin his phone I feel fat in this dress ooo the waiter is cute I should tell my friend call and say its an emergency I have to leave we would make beautiful babies why am I here I would so sleep with him awkward silence church hugs vibin conversations to kiss or not to kiss did he just touch me butterflies he looked better in the club 2nd date? good morning texts have u ever been with a man I wonder how many girls he's talking to right now unreturned phone calls the reholla forced conversation overanalyzing best behavior did I just put his last name behind mine to see how it sounds this shit is for the birds.

Hello, my name is April and I'm a drunk dialer.

It is a rather simple equation:

Alcohol + Free nights and weekends = Self Destruction

It never fails. IT NEVER FUCKING FAILS. I get a lil loose off the goose and what do I do at 3am?  Pick up the phone and either find HIS number to call or type a text message that looks like "Omgnf I fweckin lik uuuu soodfdo mcuh" ...I have mastered the art of slurring my texts because if he picks up the phone after I repeatedly call him that is exactly how I will sound. So uncool, so unlady like, so funny, yet so wrong.  Brutal honesty pours out my mouth followed with hiccups. I am a hot flaming mess and at that very moment I don't give a fuck. I am having the time of my life and I just want to share that moment with someone who ends up becoming a victim/participant of an unbecoming phone call.  Most of the time it is hilarious, but then there is a time when I can slur out something that was fermenting in the back of my head for weeks and a conversation goes south q u i c k l y. 

*sigh*

I am a habitual line crosser and I don't know how to get out of this vicious cycle of vodka and sprint. I need help people.

Ever woke up feeling like an asshole? Smelling of bad decisions and yesterday?  Knowing somewhere in the world you burnt down a bridge?

Friday night I almost ruined a perfectly good friendship with a young man that I am really digging. Dating life almost in shambles. All because I was feeling talkative and just wanted to hear his voice. Welp...the next day arrives and I learn that he was not entertained by my shenanigans.  o_O  Completely embarrassed.  All I could do was apologize multiple times. He was the kick in the ass that I needed to make some sort of self-evaluation happen.  I was 24 and still felt that drunk dialing was acceptable. I mean I love Drake's "Marvin's Room," because someone has either been Drake or had a Drake call them. But let's be honest...that was not cool.  Drake should have took his drunk ass home and slept off that rose' and xo.  Following my own advice I am hoping that this guy will see that I am human, still growing and forgive my indiscretions and understand that although I have wild child tendencies it is never my intention to be disrespectful.

...I just really wanted to hear his voice <3

WHERE THE FUCK IS WALDO????????

"I'm limited edition"



Disclaimer: I am not cocky, nor do I claim bird sayings like "I'm the baddest bish" or "Five Star Chick". I am just a young motivated lady that knows and understands my worth.


When I was a little girl my mother use to tell me that no amount of diamonds, rubies, or pearls could surpass my worth so just like you dont give the Hope Diamond to any passing negreaux you dont give your body, mind, and spirit to the first person who tells you....that you are cute...


However, in my recent experiences I just feel the game has changed and what use to consitute a lady has now been replaced with BIRD....


Bird (n) [brrrrrrrrr-arrrrrrd] 1. a female that parades herself in a manner that is thirsty for attention. 2. any female that bargains sexual favors for advancements in the social latter 3. Any female that allows a man to use her like she is disaposable. 4. Any female that engages in foolish talk on social networking sites to spark facebook drama, baby momma drama, friend drama, or drama drama.

Now I myself am a college educated woman, I work a full-time job, in grad school full-time, work an internship part-time, got my own place, bank accounts, etc. And I am highly offended when first meeting a guy and he engages in bird-calling...

Bird-calling (v) [brrrrrrr-arrrrrrrd kul-all-eeeeee-gu] the act of attracting birds

"Excuse me sir....I am a lady...." why do I have to check you.....why do I have to give you the side-eye when you ask me "Can I comeover and chill" or "Oh you got body shots cause I aint see none on fb" " WHAT NIGGGGAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! I JUST MET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just get disgusted....

In a world full of bitties....it is like WHERE'S WALDO TO FIND A REAL WOMAN...

I am not into man bashing either...BUT COME ON SOOOOOOONNNNNN.......

Disclamier: I have met bitties on all academic, class, socio-economic, and racial levels....and the bar has been set so low.....its victim has no face....

In a ideal world.....
Man sees Woman
Man approaches Woman
Man compliments Woman
Woman accepts man's advances
Man asks Woman on a date
Man and Woman converse on the phone (about goals, bust a joke or two, NOTHING SEXUAL)
Man and Woman go out
Man drops Woman off
Man calls Woman in the morning

Rinse and repeat....

Then decisions can be made about a possible real relationship blossoming, ya'll resolve to be friends, or deuces are chucked....

I am just not going to be able to do it.....

P****Diggers

No one would consider themselves a slut. A slut according to Webster's is a sexually promiscuous woman or a woman prostitute. No female would sit back one day and ask herself "hmmm, have I been a slut lately?"

Well, If in the past decade you have slept with people and not one has brought your parents (or mom, cause fathers are a practically extinct) some goats, chickens, and cows for your hand in marriage...then guess what? Which leads to my question- Why do we even sleep with men that offer us NOTHING.

Most women think that to expect or ask a man for something means that you are a gold digger. And to that I have to SHOUT THAT I DISAGREE. Why? Because they expect p**** because they got you a meal at McDonald's. They expect p**** cause they took you to see Madea's latest movie. They expect p**** because they spent the gas to come over to your house to get p****. Men, my friend are P****Diggers. So why should YOU feel ashamed to expect that before he gets the p***** that he actually shows that he has your back, be it financially or emotionally.

Women are so wrapped up in not wanting to come off as gold diggers, that instead we let ourselves come off as sluts. Cause ask yourself, what do you have to show for wasting your time with someone that you have slept with. Do you have ANYthing to show for it. Can you say, my heart's broken but at least i got these pradas, my lights are on, my car payment made, etc. Probably not. You're lucky if you got something as basic as flowers.

All a dude thinks he has to do is get you a couple steak dinners, whisper some bullshit to you over the phone, and he thinks he's in there. And some of us fall for the bait, thinking that hes gonna stick around.

Make him work for it. Its ok to have expectations from someone that is romantically interested in you. AND please do NOT under any circumstances settle for the bullshit JUST because he's cute, Just because he seems like he'll be a good husband, Just because you two have great conversations. Guess what? When he has gotten what he wants and is bored, your conversation wont mean shit to him.

There is better out there. There will be a man willing to rip off his shirt cause you need a tissue, give you an arm and a leg just cause you asked. I am worth more than my weight in GOLD. Every woman with a good head on her shoulders and a moral compass is worth more than her weight in GOLD. And if a dude begs to differ then he can go PussyDig somewhere else.

Hate it or love it, thats how i feel.

Baked Fresh Daily!!!!!!

Stale Dounuts....

Ever walked into Dunkin Donuts around 6pm and you spot the strawberry frosted w/sprinkles!!!!!! and instantly your mouth waters....you have feelings of euphoria....and thoughts automatically go to how this dounut is about to be the BOMB.COM.....

Until.....

You bite the shit and it is STALE!!!!! Instantly you experience euphoria let down....feelings of disappointment..anger for wasting your 1.00 flood your head...and most of all...YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED!!!!!!!!!

I feel like my dating life has been one big stale ass dounut...I mean come oooooooonnnnn sonnnnnn.....now I am no stranger to the game.....I have dated plenty of nigga, cornball, loser, double loser, poser, and creeper (with sprinklings of positive experiences)....however I feel at 25+ a dude just has to do better.....

I mean on paper he look good....got a job, car, own spot, bank account, five year plan (the basics) shit this nigga even read a few books and can tell you about something random like spit information about the hanging gardens of Babylon (booofffff)

But

When you probe into the rabbit hole one begins to realize that although a nigga resume has passed the usual initial dating walls....He failed to pass the interview....He is a loser just like the rest.....just he has successfully learned how to suppress his core nigga to the point of the fourth or fifth date....

I really be like Damn yooooooo.....how am I here again....how did I make the same missteps and how am I utterly disgusted with this dude.....

Chasing a feeling....
Hoodwinked....

Moral of the story....I do not pass go and collect 200 dollars.....

I cannot even blame the dude though....

Just like I should have known better to buy donuts at 6pm thinking it was going to be fresh.....I should be wiser and know by now that everything that glitters is not gold...(forgive the cliche)

Just regular ol' conversation

April-Danielle Status:

Everyday we go about searching for those feelings we had when we first fell in love. Grasping for remnants of that first kiss, those first butterflies, that first tingle. Those after have become failed attempts of trips to go back when love was completely new, completely innocent.

Katrina Chasing a feeling...

April-Danielle when you think about it, isn't that the basic idea that constitutes why we do the things we do in life...chasing a feeling.

Denesia i agree with that

Katrina touche...

Katrina Dont get me ah started talking about first love...and how it is equivelent of pure cocaine...cause i have journals filled....

April-Danielle preach girl...I'm still suffering from the symptoms of withdrawals and lord knows I'm willing to relapse.

Denesia well in my case... i never experienced true love but i have been chasing feeling

April-Danielle All you need is a taste

Katrina YOOOOOOOOO.....that is some real shit....willing to chase a high...if for only that brief moment....you are in euphoria and the only two ppl exist is [US].....even if you know this shit isnt real...and as fast as you experience it....as fast as it goes

Denesia hmmmm thats some powerful stuff.... i just long for the feeling

Katrina ‎when you do....it is like....CRACK....you want it all the time and anytime

April-Danielle We bout to have chuuch on this status. I have settled for guys that I was not interested in only because they served that temporary feeling of when I close my eyes I imagine it's the real thing until the next passing feeling comes along.

Katrina Adele-Melt my Heart to Stone......real ish.....the words say "And I hear your words....that I made up...You say my name....Like there can be an us" .......You believe anything....TRICK yourself into believing....because forreal....when phon...es are silenced....and it is just you and him....you are the only one that matters....and in life we just want to be appreciated...recognized...and heard.....SO YOU THINK IT IS REAL....

Katrina Life aint nothing....but about the human relationship....

Denesia OMG.... girl i dream all day everyday to experience that real deep deep deep love... the love where u lay on his chest and ur hearts r beating at the same time.. ughhhh

April-Danielle excuse me for laughing at that scenario Nesi

Katrina You will....but when euphoria dies.... to me love is digging my car out of 3 feet of snow....or hanging some mini blinds....running my bath cause you know I worked all day...and going to chipotle...not cause I asked....cause you overheard me talking about burritos and decided to surprise a nigga

April-Danielle I just want a love that the thought "when is this negro going home" never crosses my mind

Katrina I just want to be comfortable.....where I know my man is ridddddaaaaa......cause I'm a riddddaaaaa for him....

Denesia Thanks April for laughing at me.. smh

Katrina Truth be told....you can experience euphoria in the club....just let "Your type" by Jamie Foxx come on...and have enough cranberry and vodkas....everybody is the one....

Denesia Love... so many people use your name in vain.. Love.. those who have faith in you sometimes go to stray.. Love.. Through all the ups and downs the joy that works.. Love.. for better or worst I still will choose you first.. I might have messed up some of the words on this song but u get the point lol

April-Danielle Nigs will fall in love to She Gotta Donk in the club if the girl dancing got a fat ass

April-Danielle yesssssssssssssssssssss Katrina! Love in the end should turn into thoughtfulness when its all said and done.

April-Danielle I would personally fall in love to kill de bitch by lil vicious in the club but thats neither here nor there

Katrina LMAOOOOO.....I HAVE fell in love to...."DJ wont you play another love song" was wifed for 4months fucking with that shit.....

Katrina Needless to say.....I dont go to the club....

April-Danielle No ma'am

April-Danielle I'm sorry my nig. I tried to do that but I had to stop it cuz it was too damn hot

April-Danielle But let us digress from the club and back to this life less: in the end its all about can you find a man that is just committed as you even when the relationship is not 50:50

Denesia lol yall r fools

April-Danielle This is what I think the evolution of love should be: lust, bliss, love, appreciation, then thoughtfulness

Katrina It is quite simple really.....Love me and give to this relationship....as much as I love you and give to this relationship.....communcation, devotion, and commitment....and in turn we can be happy....and build.....WE SHOULD BE A WELL OILED MACHINE.....working towards goals for the betterment of each other and our family.....*drops mic* deuces

April-Danielle Realest ish I never said


Denesia lol.. but why isnt it that simple then?

Denesia seems like a simple formula but love is more complicated than that

Katrina it is complicated because we are distracted by background noise

Katrina some of us are broken....have walls for our past experiences....so we protect ourselves

Katrina and sometimes we intentionally or unintentionally throw wrenches into our own potential happiness

Katrina there lies the complication

April-Danielle Because love cannot be defined. Look it up and you cannot find a clear definition for it. Everybody has their own view of what it is or what it should be.

Katrina touche....agreed....stamp it....cause that's real

Ra Ra like a Dungeon Dragon

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. I hopped out of bed. Made myself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch with the Crunch Berries. Popped in a red box movie. Ate my cereal on the couch. Content.

Until...I thought about going to work later on today. I didn't always feel dread when thoughts of my job crossed my mind, but as with most things the honeymoon was over and the underlying bullshit of the company I work for started to surface. SO, when I pull up to my job, turn, down my music, and turn off my ignition, I sit for about 3 minutes in silence then chant my mantras of peace before I go in. But as usual, when I cross that threshold into hell all that shit I just chanted goes out the window and my mood swings into "leave me the fuck alone" mode.

We all had that feeling...that I am way better than this place that I work at feeling, where you feel smarter than your superiors...where you constantly tell yourself that patience is a virtue because your dream job is coming soon. Trapped. You feel trapped and a breakthrough must occur soon because you are two incidents of bullshit away from burning shit down and collecting unemployment. You daydream about all the things you would do on your last day: knock some paperwork off someone's desk, take a 2 hour lunch break, put white out in the coffee creamer, or using all that time you earned to call out for the last week. Bliss, sweet bliss that would accompany that last day.

My Abuela told me that all forms of diplomacy requires hypocrisy. She was not lying with that bit of advice. I just hate the fact that in order for me to succeed within this company I have to throw others to the waste side and work as if I have no regards for others feelings or livelihood. That's not me. I actually have a conscience. *sigh* So a person giving me advice would naturally say, "Well get another job then," but that is easier said than done. Until I figure out where I need to be in my life I shall have to be that hypocrite for the sake of my bills. When in Rome...right?

I went Natural because I was too Broke to get a Perm

So my line sister, Liz, called me out a couple days ago about the origins of my naturalness. I was offended. I guess because I am some what of a fraud...and she called me out.
Now some people go natural because they are tired of the chemicals they are putting on their scalp which borderlines on torture if you even think about scratching your head a couple days before you get that relaxer...ain't nothing "relaxing" about that experience. You beat your head with the palm of your hand until you are damn near in a coma and you are admitted to a psychiatric ward due to people thinking you are exhibiting self-injurious behavior.
Now some go natural to exhibit love of their culture, their natural selves, etc. They want the world to know that this is me in my most purest form and I love then original texture of my hair. "I am not my hair" but I really am my hair type shit.
Now some people are lucky enough to be born natural and stay true to it all their lives.
Now me...I went natural in college because I did not have money to consistently get a relaxer...sooooooo I rocked out with my curls ya dig until I got a paycheck to get that creamy crack. Don't judge me.

So 2 years later I decided to go "natural" again, for reasons other than poorness. I have been called out on my true intentions due to the shadiness surrounding my 1st attempt. I honestly believe that natural hair wearers need to be in a secret task force for the CIA because those people can seriously guilt you into never getting a perm again and have you questioning your blackness for even considering straightening your hair. It's like they walk with the movie "Good Hair" in their back pocket.

Needless to say, I am trying to stay strong against the "lye" because it seems like 85% of my friends have transitioned to natural. Let's see how this goes because Lawd know I do not want to hear their mouths if I pop up with hair straighter than a white girl's. It's just amazing how something as hair is powerful enough to make a statement to others about who you are as a person. If my hair is too straight then I am a mental slave to the white man and I practice self-hatred; then if my hair is too curly I am a self-righteous militant sista that screams down with the machine *raise fist in the air* I just want to be me and wear my hair the way I feel on that particular day with no judgments from anyone.

That SlumDog Millionaire Kind of Love

Just call me Litika because I have had two serious relationships with dudes named Jamal...Funny? Not so much...to the point when this one guy approached me and told me his name was Jamal I laughed and said no helllllll no...no disrespect. He said I guess this conversation is over, and I responded with a very much so.

I do want that Jamal kind of love though...not that Jamal from the hood of Baltimore kind of love, but that Jamal from the slums of India kinda love, that punjambi love if you will. That I will search for you for 2 decades kind of love...that I will get on a game show that I know you like to watch in hopes you might you see me on there one day kind of love...that I will kiss the scar on your cheek because you took a knife to the face for me kind of love...that I will do a dance sequence in the middle of a train station kind of love...that I will take a bullet for you kind of love.

Yea, I really like that movie.

Late Night Pondering Session

I really don't know how to begin to discuss this because what I have my in head to say may not make sense through actual words as I try to flush it out of my head in a way that it makes sense to the next person.

I am a self-proclaimed existentialist, whom enjoys to sit and ponder the meaning of life and this reality as we know it. Over the years I have come to realize that this is an extremely sensitive topic for those that don't want to admit that change is scary to them and willingly accepts that what they see and here is the absolute truth. I for one am not like that. I love to bounce my ideas off like-minded individuals who hold just as crazy hypotheses as I do. So today, we shall discuss the idea of history books. Random right? But give me a chance to argue my side.

They say if you want someone to believe something write it in a book.

I think you as you read that statement you are naturally underestimating the power and truth in it. Everything that we know about this world before we were here is written in a book. Everything from groundbreaking events to the birth of mankind as we know it consists of tiny black words imprinted on thin white paper. We are told to unquestioningly believe everything that we read as the truth from an author we never met whose name escapes us; due to the fact that hey I wasn't around milleniums, centuries, or decades ago, so how do I know if what I am reading is the truth or not? We don't know, so it makes us more comfortable accepting that everything we read is completely valid.

I look back at my years in public school and think about all of the contradictions that were told to me: Christopher Columbus discovered America, Abraham Lincoln willingly freed the slaves, corn is a vegetable, pluto is a planet. Contradictions to what we have been taught our lives are discovered every day. And yet how do we know if that discovery is true. Who is going to stop me from publishing a book that presents nonsensical evidence that George Washington could actually tell a lie starting with he didn't chop down a cherry tree but it was actually an apple tree? No one. And someone in the world will read and believe; it could also start a scandal due to every American growing up to believe that their honorable 1st president was not a liar. How do we know that truths are not stretched to make a story sound better for the sake of history? How do we know exactly? Because a book told us...since there is no one around to tell it themselves.

I'm not trying to shatter your perception of the past and what "historical" events that occurred to bring us to where we are today. All I want is for people to start thinking outside of the box and question the things that they read. A little curiousness is healthy. Question everything

When Keeping it Real goes Wrong

Edit

Classic: The BEST Facebook status conversation EVER!!! *If you have a heart condition please don't read*

by April-Danielle Grant on Sunday, October 24, 2010 at 12:18pm

TeeKay:>>> ‎:/ .... DeeJay get outta here..."i'm a breath away from giving up on these black men" lol...convos w my lover.....you a mess!


May 31 at 10:42pm · Comment · LikeUnlike

• DeeJay: all we need now is Katrina with the "f* that N*"
  
  
  
  
  
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    TeeKay: man basher...lol
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOO yeah ::::inserted FUCK THAT NIGGA....NIGGAS AINT SHIT::::
    
    
    Katrina Ross: Ps: I did peep that status....and the first thing I thought about was not FUCK that Nigga....but please let DeeJay get her money up and get out the house....cause when a nigga start dedicating statuses to individuals....that nigga must be BORED....
  
  
  
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    TeeKay: yoooo..don't start that ish on my wall lmaoooo...i don't have a problem with dudes..they iight in my book!..so bitter...smh haha
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: LMAOOO.....hey hey....I majored in Niggas...I got a PH.D in niggerology (hence my dissertation entitled the "The Niggerism Factors: A comparative study" along with my colleague DeeJay) and I will be the first to say there are some niggas that get an "iight" pass.....
  
  
  
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    TeeKay: I only minored in niggerology...However, I pride myself on the various field studies that I conducted..and I also plan to further my education by attending your next seminar..when will that be? lol
    
    
    Katrina Ross: We are currently conducting a research study in its infancy entitled "Niggas: Ya'll got jobs???" which explores niggas in professional settings....that is taking up a majority of time...however if you would like to have more field experience I will gladly take you on as a research assistant....
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: You are also welcomed to join DeeJay's study..."Making a Nigga into a house wife" which is powerpoint presentation that teaches individuals how to calm down the thristy and teaches niggas to learn how to take a drink of water.....
    
    
    Kaliqua Youngblood: LMMFAO this is hilarious...however, I would like to attend the next seminar...
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: My seminar involves walking tours where we study "niggas" in their natural habitat - Popeyes, back alleys playing dice, DTLR and other Footwear warehouses, barbershops, strip clubs, and at church (<-though only a rare breed attend). Please ...get your permission slips signed by your parents. You will need gloves (don't wanna leave prints on anything niggas are involved with), Jordans (cause ya gotsta blend in, ya dig), and dark glasses (so they wont notice us observing). Please do not bring/wear anything that may smell like marijuana or fried chicken as this may distract the species from his natural activities.
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: Also the second part of my seminar is guaranteed to get you breakfast in bed...eggs and waffles, anyone???
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Please Please ladies....DON'T FEED THE NIGGAS.....they will follow you home....won't leave your couch for weeks....you will have miscellaneous credit card charges for jordans, play station 3, and summer jam tickets....and somehow...there will never be any koolaid (even if you don't drink the shit)
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: Also do not wear any flashy gold jewelry. We fear that our students may be robbed and their jewels melted down to make "Grills" otherwise known as gold toofs.
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: There will be a rigorous training camp before we set out in the "field." I want my students to be impervious to Fitteds and Jordans
  
  
  
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    *cough April cough*
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross:Yes....there will be a six week training camp where you will be confronted with the sexiest types of niggas....you will have to be able to resist the "lip lick"....the "wats good"....the "eye stare"....the "freshness"....the imfamous "SWAG".......
    
    
    
    There will be a final.....
    
    DeeJay: word is bond, i think the "lip lick" may just be hardest one of all. You ever notice how LL's lips never looked chapped.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: That is why the "lip lick" will be the final.....and yes my nig....LL's lips are always quite moisturized....
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: do you think he uses carmex or blistex?
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: or maybe he uses pure aloe that grows in his back yard.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Good ol' Vaseline my nig.....take that shit back to elementary school
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Pure Aloe though....yoooooooo go get me an Aloe leaf so I can grind this shit up real quick....STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: but feel me though: he couldnt possibly be using anything on the market cause i done seent so many male celebrities with some dry ass lips (i.e Jamie Fox, Dave Chappelle). Vaz-lean is only a dollar a tube...LL got pure aloe
    DeeJay: And this is case in point of why we need a boot camp....some will go into the field...not all will make it out (just dont put him under your car or life insurance policy).
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: yeah you right....you right...LL got that pure aloe shit that is grown on the hills of Africa....where only children under the age of 8 can pick it to guarantee freshness....
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: LLLMMMMMAAAOOOOO....seeds gotta be prayed over by a medicine man to ensure the utmost suppleness
  
  
  
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    Martina Carter: WWWWTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: You trying to be apart of the seminar as well....Martina....
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO I hate y'all so much...I mean with the UPMOST hatred.
    
    
    And I do not like how my name was inserted in mid-cough. Get some damn tussin if your throat dry DeeJay.
    
    
    Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOOO tussin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop......iCANT.....
  
  
  
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    TeeKay: yep...tussin ...it sits in between the Wal-itin and Wal-quil at your local Walgreens
  
  
  
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    Koye Berry: ‎"DONT FEED THE NIGGAS." I want that on a t-shirt, and I want it by 5pm Thursday.
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: Hahaha I want that on a fitted since I'm so partial to them
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: my throat is well moisturized. I gotta 24 pack of water i keeps with me, ya dig. April is one of those that may not make it out the field. Notice the defense mechanism, and the speedy admission to fittedophilia
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: WOW, I was told by N. Dot that i needed to read this post due to its blackening comments towards my sex.I am deeply ashamed by this display of Coonery, and Porch Monkeydum. This is a perfect example of Jigabooism!
    
    
    
    FYI, the term Jigabooism describes the condition or characteristics displayed by an individual or group who defame, distort or degrade the worth and potential of another individual/group through the means of berating, slander, and physical/ mental abuse. Due to the Psychological condition of those who are involved/ instigate in Jigabooisms, they themselves display some of the same characteristic in which they condemn. Thus creating a cycle of self hatred and loathing.
    
    
    Although 99% of these malign comments do not apply to me, I am familiar with the pain that comes with such vilifying remarks. As a result, I must come to the defense of the victims in this matter.
    
    
    As I hold a PH.D in Nigganometry, as well as a Masters in Primatology (the study of primates...an actual study), I implore you all to renounce your ways. You are all dangerously close to becoming Bojangloids!
    
    
    Heed my warnings.
    
    
    Sincerely,Dr. Robert W. Beverly
    
    April OchoSiete: Who asked this kneegah for an opinion?
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: Listen here u Knuckle dragging banana curling jungle bunny, I do what I WANT!!!!!!
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Dr. Beverly excuse me....please sip on some red koolaid w/ your box o' three wings and a biscuit...and enjoy the cool sounds of Gucci Mane....CAUSE NOBODY ASKED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: Dr. Beverly please sit ur late night bet uncut watchin pelle pelle rockin "I put on oils cuz I can't afford cologne" oletsdoit negra ass down.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Pelle Pelle????LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! iCANT.....This nigga is Karl Kani sweat suit wearing...FUBU rocking....I copped those new Fila jawns cause they look like Pradas ass nigga.....
    Robert Beverly: FYI, u would be sitting right next to me on the stoop, with ur hair wrapped in a multi-colored scarf, wearing chinese slippers, smelling like Dr. Miracle, eating oodles & noodles...And I am deeply offended that u would associate me with a chimpanzee like Gucci Mane!
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: Hahahahahahahahahaha he rockin Fada's tho? Lmao. This Kneegah is a 2 for 1 chicken box coupon totin...what is that velvet imitation felt jacket rockin... Can I get 20 cent towards my bus pass askin...what's that slight breeze on my neck ass... kneegah
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: WOW, I gotta rock Karl Kani and FUBU's and Fila in 2010 though...that hurts!Get yah Reebok Classics (no ankle support and they look like thick socks) rockin, 'my lip gloss is poppin' but Im too damn old to be wearing, "Im Gonna Get You Sucka" fake nail poppin, Treasured Locks hair vitamin - under the weave using, buckshot comb teeth breaking, when it rains I get an instant frow asses up outta here!!! Lookin like u got ants having a cookout on the back of ur neck!!!
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Get yahhhh....sweat rag rocking.....I wear galaxy tees cause I want to...."Hold up while I put some minutes on my phone"....I cookout on my front porch on my rite aid copped grill...waiting on my grandmommmma social security check so I can re-up on my do-rag collection asssss outttttta here...while you at it wipe that chicken grease of your fingers cause you dont wanna mess up your new velor/velvet Phat Pharm sweat suit ...cause you know your baby momma Na-Nae spent good money for that shit at Forman Mills.....stop playing.....
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: Lmmmmaaaaaaaaooooooooooooo I HATE YOU KATRINA ahahahahahahahahaha
  
  
  
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    Koye Berry: This should be the only status thread on Facebook.
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: That's how u feel Rob? U coooold blooded, with your no waves but always smelling like Duke grease wearing..."These 20's...ok no they aint 20's, they 15's but I keep 'em clean tho" rims on the geo metro sportin...the layer of dust on my body is too thick to really get zestfully clean havin...DTLR shorts to my ankle tube socks and nike boots rockin on the hottest day in June wearing... Let me see which white tee imma wear today chosin...Imma Maury baby daddy celebrity actin...somebody jiggle the antenna so I can see Jerry Springer clearly ass nigga.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Im at work on hold, trying not to laugh, and my eyes are getting all watery.....I hate yall soooo much right now!And how u gonna try to play me when the heels of ur feet look like you were chauffeuring Fred Flintstone around Bedrock all day in a car with no floor! Look like u were beatin ur feet on limestone! Why ur knees look like ur were kneading fresh wonder bread dough - like u were Chuck Norris side kicking brick walls! Get outta here wit yah ranch sunflower seed chewin, got two different colors of black weave in ur hair havin, forever havin new growth the day after u get a perm havin, elbows as black as charcoal brickets lookin, I got 5 kids and 4 babies daddies havin, bright ass crayon weave with the tacky 4 inch long dracula nails havin, On Maury Povich for the 3rd time cause u still dont know who ur next babies daddy is, C-section - lookin like ur stomach got a koolaid smile ass up outta here!!!!
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: Rob I think you forgot who me and katrina are. You been so ghost wherever u hibernate at that we barely see u. We from jersey son. So let me remind you...you drakkar smellin, malt lica drinkin, still tryna use Oprah free chicken coupon totin...knuckles smellin like fish grease cuz there's no lotion potent enough smellin...wash the kool-aid stain from around ur mouth lookin...Free Weezy F. Baby chantin...buy 1 abortion get 1 free for you baby mama havin...I still record my favorite songs on my cassette tape playin...if I just add some extension to my cornrolls the ladies will think that I have hangtime plottin...I went to college just to get a facebook actin...King magazine is classic quality literature thinkin...I hope I'll meet one of my daddies some day wishin...to make a wish foundation lookin ass nigga
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: i wanna print this and carry it around in my pocket for those rainy days.
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: But y Rob tryna get self righteous when he know he prolly got a little bottle of hot sauce tucked away in his desk drawer at work.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....make a wish foundation lookin asss niggga......iCANT....
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: iCANT right now. I'm trying to muffle my laughter at work. I just need to go ahead and clock out. There's no way I can help the children today.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Rob sippin on a bottle of hotsauce right now.....as we speak....cause that just how much a nigga he is.....and I am done.....
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: And he got an emergency chicken box on reserve in the drawer where he keeps his "desk supplies"...I'm done as well.
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: I'm mad cause yall jumpin me out here, but it aint nothing. Yall forgot that Im from the Bricks son. yall betta go ahead wit ur putting a piece of cardboard in ur shoe cause I can see through the soles of ur sneaker having, British Knight - even though u haven’t seen them in stores for over a decade – rockin, I use Ranch Dressing like ketchup ass, Drinkin Mad Dog 20/20 like it’s a fine wine sippin, Smellin like Vicks vabor rub cause u ran out of deodorant using, hella baby powder showing at the top of ur chest during the summer-talkin but u tryna stay dry lookin, Breath smell like Rap Snack chips & peanut chews eatin, C&C soda and vodka mixin, Vaseline on ur face looking like a bojangles doll moisturizing,Mad cause my hair grows faster than urs hatin,Grease stains on ur spaghetti string top cause u just copped 4 wings and fries for $2 havin,‘Raise ur hand if ur sure’ but u cant - pit stains in ur club dress havin, fake door knocker earing rockin, why ur momma try to get creative wit ur name - extra vowels havin, ankle bracelet too tight wearin, hands feel like Brillo pads - go get some damn cocoa butter - havin, u shoulda probably ran that razor over ur arm pits one more time shavin, dirt ring around the bottom of ur bath tub havin dirty ass!!!! Stop playin, cause u got a green ring around your neck b/c of ur techno-bond gold plated chain from home shoppin network!!! u mad cause u dont drink koolaid, u drink Magic-Aid cause its 3 cents cheaper!!!!
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete O shit. Rob sound mad lmaooooooo
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: Lmao, Nah april, I ain't mad....im havin a blast! It's all in good gun. y'all made my work day!!!!
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: Rob is soooo madd.....Rob mad ....cause he had to eat "fruit rings" as a child cause he couldnt afford fruit loops....he mad cause he rocked pro wings all through middle school and the kids use to hike on his homemade fade that his uncle LeLe... use to do in his grandmommmmmmma kitchen...he mad cause he use to have to rock church shoes with his jeans cause his momma couldnt put together the change for some J's and he wanted to "dress up" too...ohhhhh yeah he mad.....he mad cause til this day he use vaseline as lotion.....he mad he had to steal his little brother bike when he was like 6'1" so he use to just drag his feet and yell to his friends "YALL GO HEAD!!!!"....Rob is really mad....cause he knock off everything....NIGGA WHAT THE HELL IS US POLO ASSN....AND TOMMY BOY???? Idk ask Rob
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: Fun*
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: Only a kneegah would write gun instead of fun unconsciously.
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross: touche.....I am offically done now....good laugh folks
  
  
  
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    Katrina Ross ps: There is so much nigggerdom on this page I got to make the world right again....enjoy
    
    
    April OchoSiete: Kudos everybody.
  
  
  
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    DeeJay: this post kinda made me hungry. Yall remember when bubaloos and chiclets were 5cents. what happened to those days???
  
  
  
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    Robert Beverly: George Bush happened to those days!! And my phone auto correct gun instead of fun for some reason. Thanks ladies for an extremely entertaining work day!!!
  
  
  
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    April OchoSiete: So ur phone is a nigga...It must be a cricket. lol ok I'm officially done.
  
  
  
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    TeeKay: ooohhh emmmm geeeee!!!!!!!!! i just got home from work and DIIIIEEEDDDDD!!!! lmaooo!!!
  
  
  
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    N. Dot: coming through mad late but f it, that's negro time for you. so can all you birds go somewhere with your missy elliot fingers waves having, "no scrubs" and "bills bills bills" singing, picking oyur nose and calling it gold digging asses home before the bus stops running? thanks. ps consider the irony that y'all are talking about only dating a dude that drives while you're standing at the bus stop. i'm just saying.
  
  
  
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    Alejandro El Santos: damn 70 comments? i just had to b apart of fb history
  
  
  
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    CarlJared Cj Northrop: lol. i didnt even read it all. i read some of it and died. yall are too much. iCant.

Random Facebook Chat #2

Jay Bratten July 25 at 11:52am
i'm great as well. i think you're beautiful.. can we get to know each other? ;-)

April Iza G July 25 at 3:09pm
Awww thank you. Aren't you married?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Jay Bratten July 25 at 3:21pm
Lol yes.. I didn't say I wanted to b ur man or n e thing.. lol



*crickets* convo...done.

Waka Flocka was sent by the Tea Partiers to destroy Black America

Katrina: you know i believe waka floka is from the moon

and he is just spreading dust all over earth

April: I think Waka Flocka is a terrorist

Katrina: stop it lmaooooooo. Osama is rolling a L right now with these niggras....in Gucci's grandmomma basement

April:

I want him sent to cuba for questioning

Katrina:

waterboard that nigga

cause he the reason why OBAMA is going to be one term president

April:

exactly

He working for the tea parties

they paying him in chicken boxes and fitteds

Katrina: they paying him in chicken and 4 lokos

April:

LMAOOOOO

Katrina: omggeeeeee you toook the words out my mouth

Lmaoooooooooooo

April:

we herrree nigga

hahahahaha

Katrina:

omgeeeeee

April:

thats y I fux with you

Katrina: forreal nigga

you my nigga

April:

he tellin the youth fuck school

he chillin with OGs in music videos

I think the tea party were the ones that really ran up on him last year and he made a deal that if they didn't kill him he would work for them

they agreed and was like iight nigga we just gonna shoot u

Katrina: lmaooooooooo

April:

so u can get some street cred and sell more records

Katrina: hence saying he want to major in geometry

April:

I BET MY FIRST BORN THAT NIGGA CAN'T SPELL GEOMETRY

Katrina: lmaoooooo

yooooooo

I got class like now

I dedicated my status to you my nig

thanks

April:

iight man

LMAOOOO

Katrina: to be continued

April:

I needed this

thank u

Katrina:

noooo thank you

April:

go get educated my nig so u too can major in geometry one day

Katrina: lmaooooo shut up