"I'm limited edition"
Disclaimer: I am not cocky, nor do I claim bird sayings like "I'm the baddest bish" or "Five Star Chick". I am just a young motivated lady that knows and understands my worth.
When I was a little girl my mother use to tell me that no amount of diamonds, rubies, or pearls could surpass my worth so just like you dont give the Hope Diamond to any passing negreaux you dont give your body, mind, and spirit to the first person who tells you....that you are cute...
However, in my recent experiences I just feel the game has changed and what use to consitute a lady has now been replaced with BIRD....
Bird (n) [brrrrrrrrr-arrrrrrd] 1. a female that parades herself in a manner that is thirsty for attention. 2. any female that bargains sexual favors for advancements in the social latter 3. Any female that allows a man to use her like she is disaposable. 4. Any female that engages in foolish talk on social networking sites to spark facebook drama, baby momma drama, friend drama, or drama drama.
Now I myself am a college educated woman, I work a full-time job, in grad school full-time, work an internship part-time, got my own place, bank accounts, etc. And I am highly offended when first meeting a guy and he engages in bird-calling...
Bird-calling (v) [brrrrrrr-arrrrrrrd kul-all-eeeeee-gu] the act of attracting birds
"Excuse me sir....I am a lady...." why do I have to check you.....why do I have to give you the side-eye when you ask me "Can I comeover and chill" or "Oh you got body shots cause I aint see none on fb" " WHAT NIGGGGAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! I JUST MET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just get disgusted....
In a world full of bitties....it is like WHERE'S WALDO TO FIND A REAL WOMAN...
I am not into man bashing either...BUT COME ON SOOOOOOONNNNNN.......
Disclamier: I have met bitties on all academic, class, socio-economic, and racial levels....and the bar has been set so low.....its victim has no face....
In a ideal world.....
Man sees Woman
Man approaches Woman
Man compliments Woman
Woman accepts man's advances
Man asks Woman on a date
Man and Woman converse on the phone (about goals, bust a joke or two, NOTHING SEXUAL)
Man and Woman go out
Man drops Woman off
Man calls Woman in the morning
Rinse and repeat....
Then decisions can be made about a possible real relationship blossoming, ya'll resolve to be friends, or deuces are chucked....
I am just not going to be able to do it.....
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
P****Diggers
No one would consider themselves a slut. A slut according to Webster's is a sexually promiscuous woman or a woman prostitute. No female would sit back one day and ask herself "hmmm, have I been a slut lately?"
Well, If in the past decade you have slept with people and not one has brought your parents (or mom, cause fathers are a practically extinct) some goats, chickens, and cows for your hand in marriage...then guess what? Which leads to my question- Why do we even sleep with men that offer us NOTHING.
Most women think that to expect or ask a man for something means that you are a gold digger. And to that I have to SHOUT THAT I DISAGREE. Why? Because they expect p**** because they got you a meal at McDonald's. They expect p**** cause they took you to see Madea's latest movie. They expect p**** because they spent the gas to come over to your house to get p****. Men, my friend are P****Diggers. So why should YOU feel ashamed to expect that before he gets the p***** that he actually shows that he has your back, be it financially or emotionally.
Women are so wrapped up in not wanting to come off as gold diggers, that instead we let ourselves come off as sluts. Cause ask yourself, what do you have to show for wasting your time with someone that you have slept with. Do you have ANYthing to show for it. Can you say, my heart's broken but at least i got these pradas, my lights are on, my car payment made, etc. Probably not. You're lucky if you got something as basic as flowers.
All a dude thinks he has to do is get you a couple steak dinners, whisper some bullshit to you over the phone, and he thinks he's in there. And some of us fall for the bait, thinking that hes gonna stick around.
Make him work for it. Its ok to have expectations from someone that is romantically interested in you. AND please do NOT under any circumstances settle for the bullshit JUST because he's cute, Just because he seems like he'll be a good husband, Just because you two have great conversations. Guess what? When he has gotten what he wants and is bored, your conversation wont mean shit to him.
There is better out there. There will be a man willing to rip off his shirt cause you need a tissue, give you an arm and a leg just cause you asked. I am worth more than my weight in GOLD. Every woman with a good head on her shoulders and a moral compass is worth more than her weight in GOLD. And if a dude begs to differ then he can go PussyDig somewhere else.
Hate it or love it, thats how i feel.
Well, If in the past decade you have slept with people and not one has brought your parents (or mom, cause fathers are a practically extinct) some goats, chickens, and cows for your hand in marriage...then guess what? Which leads to my question- Why do we even sleep with men that offer us NOTHING.
Most women think that to expect or ask a man for something means that you are a gold digger. And to that I have to SHOUT THAT I DISAGREE. Why? Because they expect p**** because they got you a meal at McDonald's. They expect p**** cause they took you to see Madea's latest movie. They expect p**** because they spent the gas to come over to your house to get p****. Men, my friend are P****Diggers. So why should YOU feel ashamed to expect that before he gets the p***** that he actually shows that he has your back, be it financially or emotionally.
Women are so wrapped up in not wanting to come off as gold diggers, that instead we let ourselves come off as sluts. Cause ask yourself, what do you have to show for wasting your time with someone that you have slept with. Do you have ANYthing to show for it. Can you say, my heart's broken but at least i got these pradas, my lights are on, my car payment made, etc. Probably not. You're lucky if you got something as basic as flowers.
All a dude thinks he has to do is get you a couple steak dinners, whisper some bullshit to you over the phone, and he thinks he's in there. And some of us fall for the bait, thinking that hes gonna stick around.
Make him work for it. Its ok to have expectations from someone that is romantically interested in you. AND please do NOT under any circumstances settle for the bullshit JUST because he's cute, Just because he seems like he'll be a good husband, Just because you two have great conversations. Guess what? When he has gotten what he wants and is bored, your conversation wont mean shit to him.
There is better out there. There will be a man willing to rip off his shirt cause you need a tissue, give you an arm and a leg just cause you asked. I am worth more than my weight in GOLD. Every woman with a good head on her shoulders and a moral compass is worth more than her weight in GOLD. And if a dude begs to differ then he can go PussyDig somewhere else.
Hate it or love it, thats how i feel.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Baked Fresh Daily!!!!!!
Stale Dounuts....
Ever walked into Dunkin Donuts around 6pm and you spot the strawberry frosted w/sprinkles!!!!!! and instantly your mouth waters....you have feelings of euphoria....and thoughts automatically go to how this dounut is about to be the BOMB.COM.....
Until.....
You bite the shit and it is STALE!!!!! Instantly you experience euphoria let down....feelings of disappointment..anger for wasting your 1.00 flood your head...and most of all...YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED!!!!!!!!!
I feel like my dating life has been one big stale ass dounut...I mean come oooooooonnnnn sonnnnnn.....now I am no stranger to the game.....I have dated plenty of nigga, cornball, loser, double loser, poser, and creeper (with sprinklings of positive experiences)....however I feel at 25+ a dude just has to do better.....
I mean on paper he look good....got a job, car, own spot, bank account, five year plan (the basics) shit this nigga even read a few books and can tell you about something random like spit information about the hanging gardens of Babylon (booofffff)
But
When you probe into the rabbit hole one begins to realize that although a nigga resume has passed the usual initial dating walls....He failed to pass the interview....He is a loser just like the rest.....just he has successfully learned how to suppress his core nigga to the point of the fourth or fifth date....
I really be like Damn yooooooo.....how am I here again....how did I make the same missteps and how am I utterly disgusted with this dude.....
Chasing a feeling....
Hoodwinked....
Moral of the story....I do not pass go and collect 200 dollars.....
I cannot even blame the dude though....
Just like I should have known better to buy donuts at 6pm thinking it was going to be fresh.....I should be wiser and know by now that everything that glitters is not gold...(forgive the cliche)
Ever walked into Dunkin Donuts around 6pm and you spot the strawberry frosted w/sprinkles!!!!!! and instantly your mouth waters....you have feelings of euphoria....and thoughts automatically go to how this dounut is about to be the BOMB.COM.....
Until.....
You bite the shit and it is STALE!!!!! Instantly you experience euphoria let down....feelings of disappointment..anger for wasting your 1.00 flood your head...and most of all...YOU ARE NOT SATISFIED!!!!!!!!!
I feel like my dating life has been one big stale ass dounut...I mean come oooooooonnnnn sonnnnnn.....now I am no stranger to the game.....I have dated plenty of nigga, cornball, loser, double loser, poser, and creeper (with sprinklings of positive experiences)....however I feel at 25+ a dude just has to do better.....
I mean on paper he look good....got a job, car, own spot, bank account, five year plan (the basics) shit this nigga even read a few books and can tell you about something random like spit information about the hanging gardens of Babylon (booofffff)
But
When you probe into the rabbit hole one begins to realize that although a nigga resume has passed the usual initial dating walls....He failed to pass the interview....He is a loser just like the rest.....just he has successfully learned how to suppress his core nigga to the point of the fourth or fifth date....
I really be like Damn yooooooo.....how am I here again....how did I make the same missteps and how am I utterly disgusted with this dude.....
Chasing a feeling....
Hoodwinked....
Moral of the story....I do not pass go and collect 200 dollars.....
I cannot even blame the dude though....
Just like I should have known better to buy donuts at 6pm thinking it was going to be fresh.....I should be wiser and know by now that everything that glitters is not gold...(forgive the cliche)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Ra Ra like a Dungeon Dragon
I woke up this morning with a smile on my face. I hopped out of bed. Made myself a bowl of Cap'n Crunch with the Crunch Berries. Popped in a red box movie. Ate my cereal on the couch. Content.
Until...I thought about going to work later on today. I didn't always feel dread when thoughts of my job crossed my mind, but as with most things the honeymoon was over and the underlying bullshit of the company I work for started to surface. SO, when I pull up to my job, turn, down my music, and turn off my ignition, I sit for about 3 minutes in silence then chant my mantras of peace before I go in. But as usual, when I cross that threshold into hell all that shit I just chanted goes out the window and my mood swings into "leave me the fuck alone" mode.
We all had that feeling...that I am way better than this place that I work at feeling, where you feel smarter than your superiors...where you constantly tell yourself that patience is a virtue because your dream job is coming soon. Trapped. You feel trapped and a breakthrough must occur soon because you are two incidents of bullshit away from burning shit down and collecting unemployment. You daydream about all the things you would do on your last day: knock some paperwork off someone's desk, take a 2 hour lunch break, put white out in the coffee creamer, or using all that time you earned to call out for the last week. Bliss, sweet bliss that would accompany that last day.
My Abuela told me that all forms of diplomacy requires hypocrisy. She was not lying with that bit of advice. I just hate the fact that in order for me to succeed within this company I have to throw others to the waste side and work as if I have no regards for others feelings or livelihood. That's not me. I actually have a conscience. *sigh* So a person giving me advice would naturally say, "Well get another job then," but that is easier said than done. Until I figure out where I need to be in my life I shall have to be that hypocrite for the sake of my bills. When in Rome...right?
Until...I thought about going to work later on today. I didn't always feel dread when thoughts of my job crossed my mind, but as with most things the honeymoon was over and the underlying bullshit of the company I work for started to surface. SO, when I pull up to my job, turn, down my music, and turn off my ignition, I sit for about 3 minutes in silence then chant my mantras of peace before I go in. But as usual, when I cross that threshold into hell all that shit I just chanted goes out the window and my mood swings into "leave me the fuck alone" mode.
We all had that feeling...that I am way better than this place that I work at feeling, where you feel smarter than your superiors...where you constantly tell yourself that patience is a virtue because your dream job is coming soon. Trapped. You feel trapped and a breakthrough must occur soon because you are two incidents of bullshit away from burning shit down and collecting unemployment. You daydream about all the things you would do on your last day: knock some paperwork off someone's desk, take a 2 hour lunch break, put white out in the coffee creamer, or using all that time you earned to call out for the last week. Bliss, sweet bliss that would accompany that last day.
My Abuela told me that all forms of diplomacy requires hypocrisy. She was not lying with that bit of advice. I just hate the fact that in order for me to succeed within this company I have to throw others to the waste side and work as if I have no regards for others feelings or livelihood. That's not me. I actually have a conscience. *sigh* So a person giving me advice would naturally say, "Well get another job then," but that is easier said than done. Until I figure out where I need to be in my life I shall have to be that hypocrite for the sake of my bills. When in Rome...right?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
I went Natural because I was too Broke to get a Perm
So my line sister, Liz, called me out a couple days ago about the origins of my naturalness. I was offended. I guess because I am some what of a fraud...and she called me out.
Now some people go natural because they are tired of the chemicals they are putting on their scalp which borderlines on torture if you even think about scratching your head a couple days before you get that relaxer...ain't nothing "relaxing" about that experience. You beat your head with the palm of your hand until you are damn near in a coma and you are admitted to a psychiatric ward due to people thinking you are exhibiting self-injurious behavior.
Now some go natural to exhibit love of their culture, their natural selves, etc. They want the world to know that this is me in my most purest form and I love then original texture of my hair. "I am not my hair" but I really am my hair type shit.
Now some people are lucky enough to be born natural and stay true to it all their lives.
Now me...I went natural in college because I did not have money to consistently get a relaxer...sooooooo I rocked out with my curls ya dig until I got a paycheck to get that creamy crack. Don't judge me.
So 2 years later I decided to go "natural" again, for reasons other than poorness. I have been called out on my true intentions due to the shadiness surrounding my 1st attempt. I honestly believe that natural hair wearers need to be in a secret task force for the CIA because those people can seriously guilt you into never getting a perm again and have you questioning your blackness for even considering straightening your hair. It's like they walk with the movie "Good Hair" in their back pocket.
Needless to say, I am trying to stay strong against the "lye" because it seems like 85% of my friends have transitioned to natural. Let's see how this goes because Lawd know I do not want to hear their mouths if I pop up with hair straighter than a white girl's. It's just amazing how something as hair is powerful enough to make a statement to others about who you are as a person. If my hair is too straight then I am a mental slave to the white man and I practice self-hatred; then if my hair is too curly I am a self-righteous militant sista that screams down with the machine *raise fist in the air* I just want to be me and wear my hair the way I feel on that particular day with no judgments from anyone.
Now some people go natural because they are tired of the chemicals they are putting on their scalp which borderlines on torture if you even think about scratching your head a couple days before you get that relaxer...ain't nothing "relaxing" about that experience. You beat your head with the palm of your hand until you are damn near in a coma and you are admitted to a psychiatric ward due to people thinking you are exhibiting self-injurious behavior.
Now some go natural to exhibit love of their culture, their natural selves, etc. They want the world to know that this is me in my most purest form and I love then original texture of my hair. "I am not my hair" but I really am my hair type shit.
Now some people are lucky enough to be born natural and stay true to it all their lives.
Now me...I went natural in college because I did not have money to consistently get a relaxer...sooooooo I rocked out with my curls ya dig until I got a paycheck to get that creamy crack. Don't judge me.
So 2 years later I decided to go "natural" again, for reasons other than poorness. I have been called out on my true intentions due to the shadiness surrounding my 1st attempt. I honestly believe that natural hair wearers need to be in a secret task force for the CIA because those people can seriously guilt you into never getting a perm again and have you questioning your blackness for even considering straightening your hair. It's like they walk with the movie "Good Hair" in their back pocket.
Needless to say, I am trying to stay strong against the "lye" because it seems like 85% of my friends have transitioned to natural. Let's see how this goes because Lawd know I do not want to hear their mouths if I pop up with hair straighter than a white girl's. It's just amazing how something as hair is powerful enough to make a statement to others about who you are as a person. If my hair is too straight then I am a mental slave to the white man and I practice self-hatred; then if my hair is too curly I am a self-righteous militant sista that screams down with the machine *raise fist in the air* I just want to be me and wear my hair the way I feel on that particular day with no judgments from anyone.
That SlumDog Millionaire Kind of Love
Just call me Litika because I have had two serious relationships with dudes named Jamal...Funny? Not so much...to the point when this one guy approached me and told me his name was Jamal I laughed and said no helllllll no...no disrespect. He said I guess this conversation is over, and I responded with a very much so.
I do want that Jamal kind of love though...not that Jamal from the hood of Baltimore kind of love, but that Jamal from the slums of India kinda love, that punjambi love if you will. That I will search for you for 2 decades kind of love...that I will get on a game show that I know you like to watch in hopes you might you see me on there one day kind of love...that I will kiss the scar on your cheek because you took a knife to the face for me kind of love...that I will do a dance sequence in the middle of a train station kind of love...that I will take a bullet for you kind of love.
Yea, I really like that movie.
I do want that Jamal kind of love though...not that Jamal from the hood of Baltimore kind of love, but that Jamal from the slums of India kinda love, that punjambi love if you will. That I will search for you for 2 decades kind of love...that I will get on a game show that I know you like to watch in hopes you might you see me on there one day kind of love...that I will kiss the scar on your cheek because you took a knife to the face for me kind of love...that I will do a dance sequence in the middle of a train station kind of love...that I will take a bullet for you kind of love.
Yea, I really like that movie.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Late Night Pondering Session
I really don't know how to begin to discuss this because what I have my in head to say may not make sense through actual words as I try to flush it out of my head in a way that it makes sense to the next person.
I am a self-proclaimed existentialist, whom enjoys to sit and ponder the meaning of life and this reality as we know it. Over the years I have come to realize that this is an extremely sensitive topic for those that don't want to admit that change is scary to them and willingly accepts that what they see and here is the absolute truth. I for one am not like that. I love to bounce my ideas off like-minded individuals who hold just as crazy hypotheses as I do. So today, we shall discuss the idea of history books. Random right? But give me a chance to argue my side.
They say if you want someone to believe something write it in a book.
I think you as you read that statement you are naturally underestimating the power and truth in it. Everything that we know about this world before we were here is written in a book. Everything from groundbreaking events to the birth of mankind as we know it consists of tiny black words imprinted on thin white paper. We are told to unquestioningly believe everything that we read as the truth from an author we never met whose name escapes us; due to the fact that hey I wasn't around milleniums, centuries, or decades ago, so how do I know if what I am reading is the truth or not? We don't know, so it makes us more comfortable accepting that everything we read is completely valid.
I look back at my years in public school and think about all of the contradictions that were told to me: Christopher Columbus discovered America, Abraham Lincoln willingly freed the slaves, corn is a vegetable, pluto is a planet. Contradictions to what we have been taught our lives are discovered every day. And yet how do we know if that discovery is true. Who is going to stop me from publishing a book that presents nonsensical evidence that George Washington could actually tell a lie starting with he didn't chop down a cherry tree but it was actually an apple tree? No one. And someone in the world will read and believe; it could also start a scandal due to every American growing up to believe that their honorable 1st president was not a liar. How do we know that truths are not stretched to make a story sound better for the sake of history? How do we know exactly? Because a book told us...since there is no one around to tell it themselves.
I'm not trying to shatter your perception of the past and what "historical" events that occurred to bring us to where we are today. All I want is for people to start thinking outside of the box and question the things that they read. A little curiousness is healthy. Question everything
I am a self-proclaimed existentialist, whom enjoys to sit and ponder the meaning of life and this reality as we know it. Over the years I have come to realize that this is an extremely sensitive topic for those that don't want to admit that change is scary to them and willingly accepts that what they see and here is the absolute truth. I for one am not like that. I love to bounce my ideas off like-minded individuals who hold just as crazy hypotheses as I do. So today, we shall discuss the idea of history books. Random right? But give me a chance to argue my side.
They say if you want someone to believe something write it in a book.
I think you as you read that statement you are naturally underestimating the power and truth in it. Everything that we know about this world before we were here is written in a book. Everything from groundbreaking events to the birth of mankind as we know it consists of tiny black words imprinted on thin white paper. We are told to unquestioningly believe everything that we read as the truth from an author we never met whose name escapes us; due to the fact that hey I wasn't around milleniums, centuries, or decades ago, so how do I know if what I am reading is the truth or not? We don't know, so it makes us more comfortable accepting that everything we read is completely valid.
I look back at my years in public school and think about all of the contradictions that were told to me: Christopher Columbus discovered America, Abraham Lincoln willingly freed the slaves, corn is a vegetable, pluto is a planet. Contradictions to what we have been taught our lives are discovered every day. And yet how do we know if that discovery is true. Who is going to stop me from publishing a book that presents nonsensical evidence that George Washington could actually tell a lie starting with he didn't chop down a cherry tree but it was actually an apple tree? No one. And someone in the world will read and believe; it could also start a scandal due to every American growing up to believe that their honorable 1st president was not a liar. How do we know that truths are not stretched to make a story sound better for the sake of history? How do we know exactly? Because a book told us...since there is no one around to tell it themselves.
I'm not trying to shatter your perception of the past and what "historical" events that occurred to bring us to where we are today. All I want is for people to start thinking outside of the box and question the things that they read. A little curiousness is healthy. Question everything
When Keeping it Real goes Wrong
Classic: The BEST Facebook status conversation EVER!!! *If you have a heart condition please don't read*
TeeKay:>>> :/ .... DeeJay get outta here..."i'm a breath away from giving up on these black men" lol...convos w my lover.....you a mess!
May 31 at 10:42pm · Comment · LikeUnlike
- DeeJay: all we need now is Katrina with the "f* that N*"
TeeKay: man basher...lol
Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOO yeah ::::inserted FUCK THAT NIGGA....NIGGAS AINT SHIT::::
Katrina Ross: Ps: I did peep that status....and the first thing I thought about was not FUCK that Nigga....but please let DeeJay get her money up and get out the house....cause when a nigga start dedicating statuses to individuals....that nigga must be BORED....
TeeKay: yoooo..don't start that ish on my wall lmaoooo...i don't have a problem with dudes..they iight in my book!..so bitter...smh haha
Katrina Ross: LMAOOO.....hey hey....I majored in Niggas...I got a PH.D in niggerology (hence my dissertation entitled the "The Niggerism Factors: A comparative study" along with my colleague DeeJay) and I will be the first to say there are some niggas that get an "iight" pass.....
TeeKay: I only minored in niggerology...However, I pride myself on the various field studies that I conducted..and I also plan to further my education by attending your next seminar..when will that be? lol
Katrina Ross: We are currently conducting a research study in its infancy entitled "Niggas: Ya'll got jobs???" which explores niggas in professional settings....that is taking up a majority of time...however if you would like to have more field experience I will gladly take you on as a research assistant....
Katrina Ross: You are also welcomed to join DeeJay's study..."Making a Nigga into a house wife" which is powerpoint presentation that teaches individuals how to calm down the thristy and teaches niggas to learn how to take a drink of water.....
Kaliqua Youngblood: LMMFAO this is hilarious...however, I would like to attend the next seminar...
DeeJay: My seminar involves walking tours where we study "niggas" in their natural habitat - Popeyes, back alleys playing dice, DTLR and other Footwear warehouses, barbershops, strip clubs, and at church (<-though only a rare breed attend). Please ...get your permission slips signed by your parents. You will need gloves (don't wanna leave prints on anything niggas are involved with), Jordans (cause ya gotsta blend in, ya dig), and dark glasses (so they wont notice us observing). Please do not bring/wear anything that may smell like marijuana or fried chicken as this may distract the species from his natural activities.
DeeJay: Also the second part of my seminar is guaranteed to get you breakfast in bed...eggs and waffles, anyone???
Katrina Ross: Please Please ladies....DON'T FEED THE NIGGAS.....they will follow you home....won't leave your couch for weeks....you will have miscellaneous credit card charges for jordans, play station 3, and summer jam tickets....and somehow...there will never be any koolaid (even if you don't drink the shit)
DeeJay: Also do not wear any flashy gold jewelry. We fear that our students may be robbed and their jewels melted down to make "Grills" otherwise known as gold toofs.
DeeJay: There will be a rigorous training camp before we set out in the "field." I want my students to be impervious to Fitteds and Jordans
*cough April cough*
Katrina Ross:Yes....there will be a six week training camp where you will be confronted with the sexiest types of niggas....you will have to be able to resist the "lip lick"....the "wats good"....the "eye stare"....the "freshness"....the imfamous "SWAG".......
There will be a final.....
DeeJay: word is bond, i think the "lip lick" may just be hardest one of all. You ever notice how LL's lips never looked chapped.
Katrina Ross: That is why the "lip lick" will be the final.....and yes my nig....LL's lips are always quite moisturized....
DeeJay: do you think he uses carmex or blistex?
DeeJay: or maybe he uses pure aloe that grows in his back yard.
Katrina Ross: Good ol' Vaseline my nig.....take that shit back to elementary school
Katrina Ross: Pure Aloe though....yoooooooo go get me an Aloe leaf so I can grind this shit up real quick....STOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
DeeJay: but feel me though: he couldnt possibly be using anything on the market cause i done seent so many male celebrities with some dry ass lips (i.e Jamie Fox, Dave Chappelle). Vaz-lean is only a dollar a tube...LL got pure aloe
DeeJay: And this is case in point of why we need a boot camp....some will go into the field...not all will make it out (just dont put him under your car or life insurance policy).
Katrina Ross: yeah you right....you right...LL got that pure aloe shit that is grown on the hills of Africa....where only children under the age of 8 can pick it to guarantee freshness....
DeeJay: LLLMMMMMAAAOOOOO....seeds gotta be prayed over by a medicine man to ensure the utmost suppleness
Martina Carter: WWWWTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
Katrina Ross: You trying to be apart of the seminar as well....Martina....
April OchoSiete: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOO I hate y'all so much...I mean with the UPMOST hatred.
And I do not like how my name was inserted in mid-cough. Get some damn tussin if your throat dry DeeJay.
Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOOO tussin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! stop......iCANT.....
TeeKay: yep...tussin ...it sits in between the Wal-itin and Wal-quil at your local Walgreens
Koye Berry: "DONT FEED THE NIGGAS." I want that on a t-shirt, and I want it by 5pm Thursday.
April OchoSiete: Hahaha I want that on a fitted since I'm so partial to them
DeeJay: my throat is well moisturized. I gotta 24 pack of water i keeps with me, ya dig. April is one of those that may not make it out the field. Notice the defense mechanism, and the speedy admission to fittedophilia
Robert Beverly: WOW, I was told by N. Dot that i needed to read this post due to its blackening comments towards my sex.I am deeply ashamed by this display of Coonery, and Porch Monkeydum. This is a perfect example of Jigabooism!
FYI, the term Jigabooism describes the condition or characteristics displayed by an individual or group who defame, distort or degrade the worth and potential of another individual/group through the means of berating, slander, and physical/ mental abuse. Due to the Psychological condition of those who are involved/ instigate in Jigabooisms, they themselves display some of the same characteristic in which they condemn. Thus creating a cycle of self hatred and loathing.
Although 99% of these malign comments do not apply to me, I am familiar with the pain that comes with such vilifying remarks. As a result, I must come to the defense of the victims in this matter.
As I hold a PH.D in Nigganometry, as well as a Masters in Primatology (the study of primates...an actual study), I implore you all to renounce your ways. You are all dangerously close to becoming Bojangloids!
Heed my warnings.
Sincerely,Dr. Robert W. Beverly
April OchoSiete: Who asked this kneegah for an opinion?
Robert Beverly: Listen here u Knuckle dragging banana curling jungle bunny, I do what I WANT!!!!!!
Katrina Ross: Dr. Beverly excuse me....please sip on some red koolaid w/ your box o' three wings and a biscuit...and enjoy the cool sounds of Gucci Mane....CAUSE NOBODY ASKED YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
April OchoSiete: Dr. Beverly please sit ur late night bet uncut watchin pelle pelle rockin "I put on oils cuz I can't afford cologne" oletsdoit negra ass down.
Katrina Ross: Pelle Pelle????LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! iCANT.....This nigga is Karl Kani sweat suit wearing...FUBU rocking....I copped those new Fila jawns cause they look like Pradas ass nigga.....
Robert Beverly: FYI, u would be sitting right next to me on the stoop, with ur hair wrapped in a multi-colored scarf, wearing chinese slippers, smelling like Dr. Miracle, eating oodles & noodles...And I am deeply offended that u would associate me with a chimpanzee like Gucci Mane!
April OchoSiete: Hahahahahahahahahaha he rockin Fada's tho? Lmao. This Kneegah is a 2 for 1 chicken box coupon totin...what is that velvet imitation felt jacket rockin... Can I get 20 cent towards my bus pass askin...what's that slight breeze on my neck ass... kneegah
Robert Beverly: WOW, I gotta rock Karl Kani and FUBU's and Fila in 2010 though...that hurts!Get yah Reebok Classics (no ankle support and they look like thick socks) rockin, 'my lip gloss is poppin' but Im too damn old to be wearing, "Im Gonna Get You Sucka" fake nail poppin, Treasured Locks hair vitamin - under the weave using, buckshot comb teeth breaking, when it rains I get an instant frow asses up outta here!!! Lookin like u got ants having a cookout on the back of ur neck!!!
Katrina Ross: Get yahhhh....sweat rag rocking.....I wear galaxy tees cause I want to...."Hold up while I put some minutes on my phone"....I cookout on my front porch on my rite aid copped grill...waiting on my grandmommmma social security check so I can re-up on my do-rag collection asssss outttttta here...while you at it wipe that chicken grease of your fingers cause you dont wanna mess up your new velor/velvet Phat Pharm sweat suit ...cause you know your baby momma Na-Nae spent good money for that shit at Forman Mills.....stop playing.....
April OchoSiete: Lmmmmaaaaaaaaooooooooooooo I HATE YOU KATRINA ahahahahahahahahaha
Koye Berry: This should be the only status thread on Facebook.
April OchoSiete: That's how u feel Rob? U coooold blooded, with your no waves but always smelling like Duke grease wearing..."These 20's...ok no they aint 20's, they 15's but I keep 'em clean tho" rims on the geo metro sportin...the layer of dust on my body is too thick to really get zestfully clean havin...DTLR shorts to my ankle tube socks and nike boots rockin on the hottest day in June wearing... Let me see which white tee imma wear today chosin...Imma Maury baby daddy celebrity actin...somebody jiggle the antenna so I can see Jerry Springer clearly ass nigga.
Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Robert Beverly: LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Im at work on hold, trying not to laugh, and my eyes are getting all watery.....I hate yall soooo much right now!And how u gonna try to play me when the heels of ur feet look like you were chauffeuring Fred Flintstone around Bedrock all day in a car with no floor! Look like u were beatin ur feet on limestone! Why ur knees look like ur were kneading fresh wonder bread dough - like u were Chuck Norris side kicking brick walls! Get outta here wit yah ranch sunflower seed chewin, got two different colors of black weave in ur hair havin, forever havin new growth the day after u get a perm havin, elbows as black as charcoal brickets lookin, I got 5 kids and 4 babies daddies havin, bright ass crayon weave with the tacky 4 inch long dracula nails havin, On Maury Povich for the 3rd time cause u still dont know who ur next babies daddy is, C-section - lookin like ur stomach got a koolaid smile ass up outta here!!!!
April OchoSiete: Rob I think you forgot who me and katrina are. You been so ghost wherever u hibernate at that we barely see u. We from jersey son. So let me remind you...you drakkar smellin, malt lica drinkin, still tryna use Oprah free chicken coupon totin...knuckles smellin like fish grease cuz there's no lotion potent enough smellin...wash the kool-aid stain from around ur mouth lookin...Free Weezy F. Baby chantin...buy 1 abortion get 1 free for you baby mama havin...I still record my favorite songs on my cassette tape playin...if I just add some extension to my cornrolls the ladies will think that I have hangtime plottin...I went to college just to get a facebook actin...King magazine is classic quality literature thinkin...I hope I'll meet one of my daddies some day wishin...to make a wish foundation lookin ass nigga
DeeJay: i wanna print this and carry it around in my pocket for those rainy days.
DeeJay: But y Rob tryna get self righteous when he know he prolly got a little bottle of hot sauce tucked away in his desk drawer at work.
Katrina Ross: LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.....make a wish foundation lookin asss niggga......iCANT....
April OchoSiete: iCANT right now. I'm trying to muffle my laughter at work. I just need to go ahead and clock out. There's no way I can help the children today.
Katrina Ross: Rob sippin on a bottle of hotsauce right now.....as we speak....cause that just how much a nigga he is.....and I am done.....
April OchoSiete: And he got an emergency chicken box on reserve in the drawer where he keeps his "desk supplies"...I'm done as well.
Robert Beverly: I'm mad cause yall jumpin me out here, but it aint nothing. Yall forgot that Im from the Bricks son. yall betta go ahead wit ur putting a piece of cardboard in ur shoe cause I can see through the soles of ur sneaker having, British Knight - even though u haven’t seen them in stores for over a decade – rockin, I use Ranch Dressing like ketchup ass, Drinkin Mad Dog 20/20 like it’s a fine wine sippin, Smellin like Vicks vabor rub cause u ran out of deodorant using, hella baby powder showing at the top of ur chest during the summer-talkin but u tryna stay dry lookin, Breath smell like Rap Snack chips & peanut chews eatin, C&C soda and vodka mixin, Vaseline on ur face looking like a bojangles doll moisturizing,Mad cause my hair grows faster than urs hatin,Grease stains on ur spaghetti string top cause u just copped 4 wings and fries for $2 havin,‘Raise ur hand if ur sure’ but u cant - pit stains in ur club dress havin, fake door knocker earing rockin, why ur momma try to get creative wit ur name - extra vowels havin, ankle bracelet too tight wearin, hands feel like Brillo pads - go get some damn cocoa butter - havin, u shoulda probably ran that razor over ur arm pits one more time shavin, dirt ring around the bottom of ur bath tub havin dirty ass!!!! Stop playin, cause u got a green ring around your neck b/c of ur techno-bond gold plated chain from home shoppin network!!! u mad cause u dont drink koolaid, u drink Magic-Aid cause its 3 cents cheaper!!!!
April OchoSiete O shit. Rob sound mad lmaooooooo
Robert Beverly: Lmao, Nah april, I ain't mad....im havin a blast! It's all in good gun. y'all made my work day!!!!
Katrina Ross: Rob is soooo madd.....Rob mad ....cause he had to eat "fruit rings" as a child cause he couldnt afford fruit loops....he mad cause he rocked pro wings all through middle school and the kids use to hike on his homemade fade that his uncle LeLe... use to do in his grandmommmmmmma kitchen...he mad cause he use to have to rock church shoes with his jeans cause his momma couldnt put together the change for some J's and he wanted to "dress up" too...ohhhhh yeah he mad.....he mad cause til this day he use vaseline as lotion.....he mad he had to steal his little brother bike when he was like 6'1" so he use to just drag his feet and yell to his friends "YALL GO HEAD!!!!"....Rob is really mad....cause he knock off everything....NIGGA WHAT THE HELL IS US POLO ASSN....AND TOMMY BOY???? Idk ask Rob
Robert Beverly: Fun*
April OchoSiete: Only a kneegah would write gun instead of fun unconsciously.
Katrina Ross: touche.....I am offically done now....good laugh folks
Katrina Ross ps: There is so much nigggerdom on this page I got to make the world right again....enjoy
April OchoSiete: Kudos everybody.
DeeJay: this post kinda made me hungry. Yall remember when bubaloos and chiclets were 5cents. what happened to those days???
Robert Beverly: George Bush happened to those days!! And my phone auto correct gun instead of fun for some reason. Thanks ladies for an extremely entertaining work day!!!
April OchoSiete: So ur phone is a nigga...It must be a cricket. lol ok I'm officially done.
TeeKay: ooohhh emmmm geeeee!!!!!!!!! i just got home from work and DIIIIEEEDDDDD!!!! lmaooo!!!
N. Dot: coming through mad late but f it, that's negro time for you. so can all you birds go somewhere with your missy elliot fingers waves having, "no scrubs" and "bills bills bills" singing, picking oyur nose and calling it gold digging asses home before the bus stops running? thanks. ps consider the irony that y'all are talking about only dating a dude that drives while you're standing at the bus stop. i'm just saying.
Alejandro El Santos: damn 70 comments? i just had to b apart of fb history
CarlJared Cj Northrop: lol. i didnt even read it all. i read some of it and died. yall are too much. iCant.
Random Facebook Chat #2
Jay Bratten July 25 at 11:52am
i'm great as well. i think you're beautiful.. can we get to know each other? ;-)
April Iza G July 25 at 3:09pm
Awww thank you. Aren't you married?
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Jay Bratten July 25 at 3:21pm
Lol yes.. I didn't say I wanted to b ur man or n e thing.. lol
*crickets* convo...done.
i'm great as well. i think you're beautiful.. can we get to know each other? ;-)
April Iza G July 25 at 3:09pm
Awww thank you. Aren't you married?
Sent via Facebook Mobile
Jay Bratten July 25 at 3:21pm
Lol yes.. I didn't say I wanted to b ur man or n e thing.. lol
*crickets* convo...done.
Friday, April 22, 2011
Waka Flocka was sent by the Tea Partiers to destroy Black America
Katrina: you know i believe waka floka is from the moon
and he is just spreading dust all over earth
April: I think Waka Flocka is a terrorist
Katrina: stop it lmaooooooo. Osama is rolling a L right now with these niggras....in Gucci's grandmomma basement
April:
I want him sent to cuba for questioning
Katrina:
waterboard that nigga
cause he the reason why OBAMA is going to be one term president
April:
exactly
He working for the tea parties
they paying him in chicken boxes and fitteds
Katrina: they paying him in chicken and 4 lokos
April:
LMAOOOOO
Katrina: omggeeeeee you toook the words out my mouth
Lmaoooooooooooo
April:
we herrree nigga
hahahahaha
Katrina:
omgeeeeee
April:
thats y I fux with you
Katrina: forreal nigga
you my nigga
April:
he tellin the youth fuck school
he chillin with OGs in music videos
I think the tea party were the ones that really ran up on him last year and he made a deal that if they didn't kill him he would work for them
they agreed and was like iight nigga we just gonna shoot u
Katrina: lmaooooooooo
April:
so u can get some street cred and sell more records
Katrina: hence saying he want to major in geometry
April:
I BET MY FIRST BORN THAT NIGGA CAN'T SPELL GEOMETRY
Katrina: lmaoooooo
yooooooo
I got class like now
I dedicated my status to you my nig
thanks
April:
iight man
LMAOOOO
Katrina: to be continued
April:
I needed this
thank u
Katrina:
noooo thank you
April:
go get educated my nig so u too can major in geometry one day
Katrina: lmaooooo shut up
A convo on Red Boxes & Alphas
Katrina's status: Friday night= cleaned the house, laundry in the dryer, showered, poured a glass, waiting on take out, and topping it off w/ a romantic comedy.....yupizers I'm good : )
April OchoSiete: red box on deck
Katrina Ross: Lol....that same dusty red box I been had.....
April OchoSiete: well I guess you do own it now
Katrina Ross: Yooooo as soon as I get a dvd case that shit going on my shelf.....*no judgments*
April OchoSiete: how you gonna have the ill dvd collection consisting of nothing but unreturned red box dvds
April OchoSiete: do better in 2011
Katrina Ross: Yoooooo efff you yooooooooo....u don't know me!!!!!
April OchoSiete: I know you well enough to know you got a nervous condition
Katrina Ross: Lmaooooooo.....I got papers for that ish....u should not make fun of the handicap....straight ticket to hell....
April OchoSiete: Well I guess you and I will be chillin in 1st class together eating shrimp cocktails. All I ask for is the window seat.
Katrina Ross: *hold my nig* Let me get my bright red suit and red stilettos....I'm goiing in style....
April OchoSiete: Let's make sure an Alpha is sitting near us so that we can be ice cold during our journey.
Katrina Ross: Lol....built in ac!!!!!! Come hither young Alpha come calm me with your cool refreshing breeze.....(Immma say that at the next party I go to)
April OchoSiete: LMFAOOOO after you do that Imma ask you, "WHO YA WIT"
Katrina Ross: Ice!!!! Lmaoooooooo
Random Facebook Chat #1
Gift Johnson: 7:55pm
HEY ARE YOU INTO GIRL?
Abrilita OchoSiete 7:56pm
am I into girls?
Gift Johnson 7:56pm
YES ARE U
Abrilita OchoSiete 7:56pm
no
Gift Johnson 7:57pm
WOW HAVE EVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT B4
Abrilita OchoSiete
lol no
Gift Johnson 7:58pm
whats funny
Abrilita OchoSiete 7:58pm
this is very random
Gift Johnson 7:59pm
ok sorry but if u where into girls i would love for u to be my girl
Abrilita OchoSiete 8:00pm
Thanks but I would have to respectfully decline
Gift Johnson 8:01pm
ok cool
Girl Code?
So, there is this imaginary thing called girl code that apparently every girl was born into on account of having a vagina. Now maybe Im just being niggnorant but I never really delved into the specifics of girl code. But I after pondering and theorizing have come up with I believe may be some popular tenets.
The Myth of the Girl Code consists of the following:
1. Thou shalt not talk to anyone I thought at one point was attractive
2. Thou shalt not date anyone I was interested in dating
3. Thou shalt not date anyone I hooked up with regardless of whether or not I liked him
4. Thou shalt not date anyone I have had sex with, dated or was in love with
So, of course NO ONE wants anyone's sloppy seconds, but I have a problem with rule number 1, 2, and 3. Why do you ask? Because there are attractive people that more than one person on earth is going to find attractive. I hate when females "pee on their tree" "mark their territory" by simply stating "ooo, I like him"...So the fuck what!?!? Cause you're the first to say so, does not mean you're the only person thinking that the person is attractive. And im sorry as an adult we (you nor I) shouldnt be claiming people. Its so elementary school.
Here's one of my perspectives: If I dated someone, briefly, and it didnt work out, Im not gonna scold or chastise my friend if later on she and him click and they wanna date. Im not God and I dont know who will click with who. Who the heck am I to tell her or him that they are not afforded the same opportunity to see if they click that I was given. He and I DID NOT work out. I can let the isht go. Can you?
Now dont get me wrong, I would never mess with someone that my friend has slept with, or was in a serious relationship with but thats my own personal boundaries. Everyone is different. I rather "fresh meat." But I reserve the right to talk to whomever I feel like. Just cause a dude flirted with me and we exchanged numbers back in 1999 does not bar my homegirl from EVER talking to him. I dont feel the need to say dumb shit like "you're breaking girl code!" If I dont give a funk about him and if thats the person she thinks might make her happy then I say go for it.
Really the issue is that this dumb girl code nonsense is what causes females to backstab and lie to eachother over a man. It also breaks up friendships. If we keep it honest, open, and mature and stop trying to CONTROL other people then I have a slight suspicion that 75% of all this girl drama in this world will subside. Short of rule number 4, my general rule of thumb is dont cockblock and fall back.
IDK, what do you think?
The Myth of the Girl Code consists of the following:
1. Thou shalt not talk to anyone I thought at one point was attractive
2. Thou shalt not date anyone I was interested in dating
3. Thou shalt not date anyone I hooked up with regardless of whether or not I liked him
4. Thou shalt not date anyone I have had sex with, dated or was in love with
So, of course NO ONE wants anyone's sloppy seconds, but I have a problem with rule number 1, 2, and 3. Why do you ask? Because there are attractive people that more than one person on earth is going to find attractive. I hate when females "pee on their tree" "mark their territory" by simply stating "ooo, I like him"...So the fuck what!?!? Cause you're the first to say so, does not mean you're the only person thinking that the person is attractive. And im sorry as an adult we (you nor I) shouldnt be claiming people. Its so elementary school.
Here's one of my perspectives: If I dated someone, briefly, and it didnt work out, Im not gonna scold or chastise my friend if later on she and him click and they wanna date. Im not God and I dont know who will click with who. Who the heck am I to tell her or him that they are not afforded the same opportunity to see if they click that I was given. He and I DID NOT work out. I can let the isht go. Can you?
Now dont get me wrong, I would never mess with someone that my friend has slept with, or was in a serious relationship with but thats my own personal boundaries. Everyone is different. I rather "fresh meat." But I reserve the right to talk to whomever I feel like. Just cause a dude flirted with me and we exchanged numbers back in 1999 does not bar my homegirl from EVER talking to him. I dont feel the need to say dumb shit like "you're breaking girl code!" If I dont give a funk about him and if thats the person she thinks might make her happy then I say go for it.
Really the issue is that this dumb girl code nonsense is what causes females to backstab and lie to eachother over a man. It also breaks up friendships. If we keep it honest, open, and mature and stop trying to CONTROL other people then I have a slight suspicion that 75% of all this girl drama in this world will subside. Short of rule number 4, my general rule of thumb is dont cockblock and fall back.
IDK, what do you think?
You Give an Inch, Ex Takes a Mile
I am chillin at work...
Phone vibrates...
It is a text...
443...909...####
The number is not saved in my phone.
But I KNOW this number...sadly by heart.
dun Dun DUUNNNNNNNN
The Ex.
And guess what he texts me? "Hi"
Hi? Hi?! Are you serious? I have had no communication with you and all you text me is..."Hi." Why are you even texting me at all? Thoughts...thoughts are swirling in my head and what I come up with to text him back after 20 minutes have elapsed is..."hello."
Suspicion sets in and I wonder what events occurred to set up him texting me this random night...preceded with why is my number still in his phone? He texted me back, "Well I was just doing my routinely checks on people to see how everyone was doing."
Routine. A noun. Pronounced [roo-teen]. Meaning a customary or regular course of procedure.
Now if I haven't talked to you in almost a year how are you saying, "Hi," become a part of your routinely checks? *scratches head* I am confused. Anyway the conversation continued. Even though I would have not minded never talking to him again I must admit that I was curious to know if his life was still in shambles. I shared my successes and when we got to him he happily told me that he finally got his new place. He asked if I wanted to see it and not to stunt on his excitement I said, "suuuuuuure." I expected 1 picture in my email but to my surprise I got 27. 27?! Why do I need to see a picture of a random wall in the hallway? But I hit him off with the, "That's nice," and left it at that. Not understanding his place in my life, he thought the next question he was about to ask would fall on eager ears.
"So anytime you come down to visit your peoples you should stop by to check it out..."
"Nah, I'm ok."
"Oh ok. I can understand if you would feel uncomfortable."
"No I wouldn't feel uncomfortable."
"Oh ok."
*silence*
"Sooo it was good hear from you. Hope things continue to go your way." He reciprocated and it was left at that.
You let them crack the door of opportunity to peek in and the next thing you know they trying to kick that bitch off its hinges.
Fast forward to 5 days later.
I am chillin at home...
Phone vibrates...
It is a text...
443...909...####
The number is not saved in my phone.
But I KNOW this number...sadly by heart.
dun Dun DUUNNNNNNNN
The Ex.
And guess what he texts me? "Hey beautiful. Hope you are enjoying the day."
<{PAUSE}>
Excuse me? You got comfortable THAT quickly?! So I shut shit down by responding, "You as well, along with the rest of you life." Then I slammed that door of opportunity shut, pad locked that bitch and pushed a couch in front of it.
Phone vibrates...
It is a text...
443...909...####
The number is not saved in my phone.
But I KNOW this number...sadly by heart.
dun Dun DUUNNNNNNNN
The Ex.
And guess what he texts me? "Hi"
Hi? Hi?! Are you serious? I have had no communication with you and all you text me is..."Hi." Why are you even texting me at all? Thoughts...thoughts are swirling in my head and what I come up with to text him back after 20 minutes have elapsed is..."hello."
Suspicion sets in and I wonder what events occurred to set up him texting me this random night...preceded with why is my number still in his phone? He texted me back, "Well I was just doing my routinely checks on people to see how everyone was doing."
Routine. A noun. Pronounced [roo-teen]. Meaning a customary or regular course of procedure.
Now if I haven't talked to you in almost a year how are you saying, "Hi," become a part of your routinely checks? *scratches head* I am confused. Anyway the conversation continued. Even though I would have not minded never talking to him again I must admit that I was curious to know if his life was still in shambles. I shared my successes and when we got to him he happily told me that he finally got his new place. He asked if I wanted to see it and not to stunt on his excitement I said, "suuuuuuure." I expected 1 picture in my email but to my surprise I got 27. 27?! Why do I need to see a picture of a random wall in the hallway? But I hit him off with the, "That's nice," and left it at that. Not understanding his place in my life, he thought the next question he was about to ask would fall on eager ears.
"So anytime you come down to visit your peoples you should stop by to check it out..."
"Nah, I'm ok."
"Oh ok. I can understand if you would feel uncomfortable."
"No I wouldn't feel uncomfortable."
"Oh ok."
*silence*
"Sooo it was good hear from you. Hope things continue to go your way." He reciprocated and it was left at that.
You let them crack the door of opportunity to peek in and the next thing you know they trying to kick that bitch off its hinges.
Fast forward to 5 days later.
I am chillin at home...
Phone vibrates...
It is a text...
443...909...####
The number is not saved in my phone.
But I KNOW this number...sadly by heart.
dun Dun DUUNNNNNNNN
The Ex.
And guess what he texts me? "Hey beautiful. Hope you are enjoying the day."
<{PAUSE}>
Excuse me? You got comfortable THAT quickly?! So I shut shit down by responding, "You as well, along with the rest of you life." Then I slammed that door of opportunity shut, pad locked that bitch and pushed a couch in front of it.
The Art of Conversation
In the midst of supporting my friend's event at WarmDaddy's in Philly (Woooo Lydia Rene!!!...buy her album on iTUNES...I digress) another friend of mine had an enlightening convo over martinis about the lost art of conversation. I would say over the past 5 years as texting has grown exponentially popular, talking on the phone is rapidly decreasing. We all had those nights especially in high school that when you think back you get all nostalgic.
"You hang up."
"No, you hang up."
"You falling asleep." *cue the giggling*
"I just want to talk to you til I fall asleep."
Awwww. Those were simpler times. A time when misunderstandings were at an all time low because you were not interpreting or assuming the tone of words on a screen because you were actually talking to someone. These teenagers have NO CLUE how to hold a conversation anymore; and it seems like my generation of twenty-something year olds have forgotten where they came from. Now I don't want to toot my horn for being a master of conversation but uhhhh...TOOT TOOOOOT. I have noticed that even with friends there are some that would much rather text you than call you on the phone even when their minutes are free, and if you call them the conversation is very awkward. I can respect that, some people are not phone talkers. BUT in regards to pursuing a romantic relationship with someone strictly texting is UNACCEPTABLE! In the summer of 2010 one of the guys (and I say this loosely) I was "talking" to did not believe in phone conversations. Allllllll he did was text. Text to wake me up. Text before he went to sleep. Text all day and night in between. I was rather suspicious, like do you have a family or something ooorrr are you just not willing to put much energy into getting to know me. There is no way that you can truly get to know someone through text message. I am sorry, I just don't think it is possible. Verbal words must be exchanged when supplemented with dating. He assured that he had no marital affairs to tend to and he was genuinely interested in me, but as I read these words on the screen of my blackberry something in me begged to differ. So I preceded to do what any self-respecting woman would do...I started fucking with him. Every single time he sent me a text I called him, like negro you gonna talk to me. As he kept hitting send I kept hitting call until he got the message...pun intended.
Needless to say, texting is taking away the ability for people to communicate effectively. It has become the lazy form of communication. I understand that sometimes you don't want to talk to someone and you just want to get to the point of a conversation or you just have a question that you need answered rather quickly. The text is perfect for that; but when used for the purpose of getting to know someone you should not be able to view your whole relationship by merely scrolling up and down. We have to do better.
"You hang up."
"No, you hang up."
"You falling asleep." *cue the giggling*
"I just want to talk to you til I fall asleep."
Awwww. Those were simpler times. A time when misunderstandings were at an all time low because you were not interpreting or assuming the tone of words on a screen because you were actually talking to someone. These teenagers have NO CLUE how to hold a conversation anymore; and it seems like my generation of twenty-something year olds have forgotten where they came from. Now I don't want to toot my horn for being a master of conversation but uhhhh...TOOT TOOOOOT. I have noticed that even with friends there are some that would much rather text you than call you on the phone even when their minutes are free, and if you call them the conversation is very awkward. I can respect that, some people are not phone talkers. BUT in regards to pursuing a romantic relationship with someone strictly texting is UNACCEPTABLE! In the summer of 2010 one of the guys (and I say this loosely) I was "talking" to did not believe in phone conversations. Allllllll he did was text. Text to wake me up. Text before he went to sleep. Text all day and night in between. I was rather suspicious, like do you have a family or something ooorrr are you just not willing to put much energy into getting to know me. There is no way that you can truly get to know someone through text message. I am sorry, I just don't think it is possible. Verbal words must be exchanged when supplemented with dating. He assured that he had no marital affairs to tend to and he was genuinely interested in me, but as I read these words on the screen of my blackberry something in me begged to differ. So I preceded to do what any self-respecting woman would do...I started fucking with him. Every single time he sent me a text I called him, like negro you gonna talk to me. As he kept hitting send I kept hitting call until he got the message...pun intended.
Needless to say, texting is taking away the ability for people to communicate effectively. It has become the lazy form of communication. I understand that sometimes you don't want to talk to someone and you just want to get to the point of a conversation or you just have a question that you need answered rather quickly. The text is perfect for that; but when used for the purpose of getting to know someone you should not be able to view your whole relationship by merely scrolling up and down. We have to do better.
Because if it Doesn't Exist on Facebook it Doesn't Exist in Real Life
For 2 of the 4 months in 2011, I have deactivated my facebook. I thought it would parallel going cold turkey from meth but it was actually quite easy. I didn't even think about facebook for those months. It was very refreshing. But why when I reactivated my account negreauxes were acting like I rose from the dead or came back from rehab? It was damn near a celebration when I got back on. I got bombarded with questions like "I was worried. Are you okay," "Where you been man," "I went to tag you and your name didn't come up," "I missed you!" yadda yadda yadda
I mean really. People don't have my phone number or something? SO if I deactivate my facebook then I deactivate my life? I just don't understand. It's like the internet and smart phones have caused people to lose the basic functions in life. If I am wondering how someone is doing I just pick up the phone. It boggles my brain.
O you went out last night...well I didn't see a status about it. "Maybe because I was out enjoying the night"
O you have a housewarming coming up...well I didn't get an invite message. "Maybe because I was going to send you a formal invitation in the mail"
O you wrote a note...well I didn't get tagged in that note. "Maybe because I just forgot"
I do not have to record the happenings of my life on facebook so that you can keep track of my comings and goings from the comforts of your couch. If you miss me or just want to know what is new...hit me up! I am sure I'll entertain you with eloquent art of conversation.
I mean really. People don't have my phone number or something? SO if I deactivate my facebook then I deactivate my life? I just don't understand. It's like the internet and smart phones have caused people to lose the basic functions in life. If I am wondering how someone is doing I just pick up the phone. It boggles my brain.
O you went out last night...well I didn't see a status about it. "Maybe because I was out enjoying the night"
O you have a housewarming coming up...well I didn't get an invite message. "Maybe because I was going to send you a formal invitation in the mail"
O you wrote a note...well I didn't get tagged in that note. "Maybe because I just forgot"
I do not have to record the happenings of my life on facebook so that you can keep track of my comings and goings from the comforts of your couch. If you miss me or just want to know what is new...hit me up! I am sure I'll entertain you with eloquent art of conversation.
Rereading this Blog
This blog has been abandoned for about a year now for reasons I forgot about it but are irrelevant now. Soooo I decided to rejuvenate it by adding some new updates on my life and adding some friends to blog about their interesting lives/experiences. I spent a good hour rereading previous posts and could not help busting out laughing. What THEE hell was I talking about on some of these posts? It is so funny how big of a difference a year makes and how things that were so important in 2010 doesn't even get a thought from me in 2011. Tis life right? Everything must evolve or become a fixture of the past.
Is this my Life?
For those that do not know I am a manager of a group home for the mentally disabled. Now what pops in your head for mentally disabled is not the kind of people that I deal with. My residents do not look disabled at first glance...it is until they open their mouths to say something or have a behavior that you would be like "whoa, something is a little off with this person." I say that to give a little background to the story that I am about to tell.
So I get a call to go pick up one of my resident's from her boyfriend's house. I go and pick her up. She hops in the suv and we on our way back to the group home. I made the mistake of asking her how her night went with her man. *sigh*
She goes on to tell me how this other girl was at her man's place when she got there and she went off. Told the chick that no girl can please her man like she can and that the girl can't deepthroat like her. *crickets*
Really? ... Really?
What am I about to write may warrant a side eye but please put yourself in my shoes. I am in a SUV...with a mentally disabled woman...being told how no one can deepthroat like her. And the first thought that pops in my head is, "Is this my life?" I gotta get on my Sam Cooke so that a change can come.
So I get a call to go pick up one of my resident's from her boyfriend's house. I go and pick her up. She hops in the suv and we on our way back to the group home. I made the mistake of asking her how her night went with her man. *sigh*
She goes on to tell me how this other girl was at her man's place when she got there and she went off. Told the chick that no girl can please her man like she can and that the girl can't deepthroat like her. *crickets*
Really? ... Really?
What am I about to write may warrant a side eye but please put yourself in my shoes. I am in a SUV...with a mentally disabled woman...being told how no one can deepthroat like her. And the first thought that pops in my head is, "Is this my life?" I gotta get on my Sam Cooke so that a change can come.
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