Pseudo-Boo

So I went through a really rough relationship and breakup a few years back (circa 2009ish). It was one of those breakups that had me like "wait...what the hell happened" not because I was confused about the circumstances under which it dissolved, but because I didn't understand why or how I got sucked into it in the first place. Anyway, after that experience I didn't want to have anything to do with a relationship for a good long while. My first love was devastating, second love was a "WTF?!" through its totality, and I was exhausted emotionally.

During some of those months, I got to know myself so much better. I worked on my spirit, worked on accepting my flaws and the person that I had become. It was a really enriching experience. I avoided the emotional work as it relates to relationships however. I went through a phase where I wanted a "Pseudo-Boo." Does it sound like I'm talking about Casper?....Good. Cause I am, so to speak.

A Pseudo-Boo is someone that gives you the companionship of a relationship but without the emotional and/or physical commitment and is about as purely honest a relationship between two consensual adults can get in my opinion. Its two people who are both emotionally drained or otherwise unavailable, seeking refuge in each other's company. There is less risk of emotional damage because there are no emotions. You can go out with the person and feel free to text the next dude at the same time. You can cuddle at night while watching a comedy together, and then he wishes you well on your date the next evening.

Being a Pseudo-Boo or having one means knowing whether or not you are willing to potentially go through heartbreak again. If you are not, then finding someone on the same airwave is amazing.  While you're getting the training wheels off again, you have that person cheering you on, going through their own metamorphosis.

Can you remain friends with a Pseudo-Boo once you move on? Depends. I don't personally entertain convos with exes or past partners if I'm in a new relationship but some people are different. At the end of the day, you both experienced a level of vulnerability and honesty that most real relationships never get to - and that can be intimidating to a new partner.