Saint Maury and the lives he's saved

It is 10AM and I am watching Maury. Where I am at Maury comes on 3 times a day; and if given the opportunity I would watch it 3 times a day. Unless they were the episodes that have the celeb look-a-likes, amazing videos, is that a man or a woman, obese 2 year olds and talented kids. I don't really fux with those too much. I am down for the lie detectors and paternity tests though. I have yet to grow tired of the slight pause put on "You are...NOT the father!" and the infamous maury sprint off stage due to shame. I cannot forget the emphasis each guest puts on the percentage of being a million and 52 POINT 9 percent sure he is the father of the baby. The corny little black man that claims he is a counselor but gives out wack advice to guests from the audience like, "Tawanja, you need to drop that zero and get you a hero." Or Ralph, who administers the lie detector test, droppin dime on what the liars confess to him off camera. Or the nasty loose booty teens that come on stage flipping everybody the bird while screaming "You don't know me. You don't know me. I know I look good." While a swole ass D. West runs on stage in a tight sweater vest trying to encourage the teens to have some respect for themselves. That is what I wake up early for. That is what helps me start my day. lol

I completely disagree with those who say Maury is exploiting people through his show. How do you figure that? These people call Maury on their own. He just provides the platform to get their questions answered and for them to tell their business. I for one, would like to start a petition to get Maury Povich a national holiday, preferably in June and close to Fathers Day. I know y'all are probably thinking April what is wrong with you; how is that even logical? Well let me explain.

Maury has helped thousands upon thousands of children find out who their fathers were over the past 2 decades. If these children would have continued to live their lives not knowing who their fathers were they would have a higher chance falling victim to the following things: crime, promiscuity, early parenthood, jail, poor behavior in school, displaced anger, etc. MAURY IS SAVING LIVES!!! That man is a saint in an argyle sweater. He is helping poor little lost babies find out who helped create them, thus helping them establish an identity for themselves, thus lowering the percentage of future hooligans running the street possibly robbing you in a few years. You should be thanking Maury for this. He is preventing one more child from going to prison, therefore helping with the problem of overcrowding prisons and decreasing crime in the street. The government should be overjoyed that 1 man has such an impact and honor him with a holiday. That is the least they could do. I'm just saying...lol. Give the man his props. ShEEsh.

*click on the title of this post to be directed to the Maury show website if you are having trouble with proving the paternity of your child or you think your partner is cheating on you. Maury will be more than happy to assist you* HAHAHAHAHAHA Viva el Maury!!!